God's bad joke #1 - Platypus
Some people believe that the world was created by an inteligent being and some people think there is no divine plan. In "Gods bad joke" I do not state who is right. I simply point out that if there is a god, he/she must have a strange sense of humor or be completely insane.
1. Enter the Platypus (Ornithorhynchus anatinus)
See this? This is what i'm talking about. It's cute and horrible at the same time. It has a furry little body of a weasel and shining black eyes, but at the same time it's made out of the duck beak and a beaver tail. It's like inviting your friends for a lunch to an expensive restaurant and then burning down their house.
Even scientists when it was discovered thought that this is a hoax. I've never seen one with my own eyes so I still have some doubts, but i'll trust the scientific community on this one just like I trusted them with gravity and my microwave oven.
2. Basic info.
The platypus lives in Australia just like all the bizarre animals, such as kangaroos, koala bears and Hugh Jackman. They eat worms, shrimps and other disgusting things like Donald Trumps comments about women. Also they are one of two species of mammals that lay eggs. Seriously, we have 5 416 species of mammals and only two of them are hipsters that still lay eggs, although every other mammal isn't doing it for hundreds of thousands of years. It's like bragging about having a calculator when everybody else has an Iphone.
Ok. Now you know something about platypuses. Congratulations! You can impress your girlfriend/boyfriend with the new knowledge. So let's see why are they real badasses of the Australia.
3. One strike and you're out.
You see a platypus in the wild. You think it's cute. You pet it and... you scream in agony.
A platypus is one of the few venomous mammals. His foot has a sting that injects a venom into the body of the agressor. It's used only in self-defense, but still...
"Although powerful enough to kill smaller animals such as dogs, the venom is not lethal to humans, but the pain is so excruciating that the victim may be incapacitated." -Wikipedia
It's like a hamster that can break your spine or a goldfish that shoots lasers out of her eyes. Cute, but terrifying.
4. Conclusion.
So basically, platypus is a abomination that looks like an effect of clicking "Random" on a gods animal creator program, that lives in a country where spiders are bigger than dogs, where every living thing evolved to kill you and it can be more painful than a christmas dinner with your family if you touch it.
Why? Oh, God... Why would you create that?
Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Please, follow me if you liked it.
Sources:
General knowledge:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platypus
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/platypus/
Graphics:
My twisted imagination and basic photoshop skills ;)
The platypus is very cute. It's only the male that possesses the spur and will do everything to avoid contact with people, so you'd have to be silly enough to try pick one up to be stung. . They are very elusive and most Australians will never see one in the wild and there are very few in Zoos. The main comment from overseas visitors is they are so small. Much the same as my opposite view of the beaver which I thought was huge when I saw one for the first time.
haha I love the drawing of this. funny post.