Seriously good jokes!

 Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.

 

At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.

 What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?

I have no idea but I wouldn’t try milking it.

  "I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."

 Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!

Father: Really, what?

Boy: That the potato should go in the front.

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or a woman. A good example: “I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!”