Derogatory Automobile Acronyms

Disclaimer: For fun only. If you own any one of these brands, which you probably do...
...SORRY ABOUT THAT... :D

Acura:

All Customers Undergo Repair Anxiety

Alfa-Romeo:

All Loosely Fitted Accessories Remain On Motorway Enraging Others

Audi:

Aging, Unfulfilled Dentists' Investment

Bentley:

British Excess Needs To Leave Everywhere, Yesterday

BMW:

Big Money Wasted

Bugatti:

"Bangin' Underground Gangsta Attitude" Trumps Techy Image

Buick:

Big, Underpowered, Impressing China Keenly

Cadillac:

Can American Designers Invent Lovely Lines? Apparently, Can't.

Chevrolet:

Cheap Heaps: Expect Very Routine Owner Letdowns, Excessive Trouble

Chrysler:

Can Hear Revs, Yet Sense Little Engine Reaction

Citröen:

Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters

Dodge:

Doddering Old Dudes Get Excited

Ferrari:

Fragile, Expensive Rides Repel All Reasonable Individuals

Fiat:

Fix It Again, Tony

Ford:

Fix Or Repair Daily

GMC:

Great, More Crap

Holden:

Horrible Old Lump of Decrepit Engineering Nonsense

Honda:

Had One, Never Did Again

Hummer:

Huge, Usually Male Member Enlarger Replacement

Hyundai:

Hope You Understand No Dependable Autos Included

Jaguar:

Just Another Gearbox Under Annual Repair

Jeep:

Just Expect Excessive Problems

Kia:

Korean Idiot's Attempt

Lamborghini:

Less Able Men Buy Only Really Gaudy High-priced Italian Narcissism Implements

Land Rover:

Lame Americans Need Dumb, Really Oversized Vehicles, England Realized

Lexus:

Luxury Equipment Xeroxed, Used Seldom

Lincoln:

Luxury Is Now Cheesy On Latest Navigators

Lotus:

Lightness Out; Tubbiness Ubiquitous, Sadly

Maserati:

Mechanically Adept Souls Expect Repairs All Times, Indefinitely

Maybach:

Mercedes, And Yet Buyers Almost Completely Hypothetical

Mazda:

Mainstream Ads, "Zoom-Zoom" Denote Apathy

Mercedes-Benz:

Mechanical Engineers Regret Choices, Especially Designing Expensive Stuff, But Executives Need Zillions

Mercury:

Massive Engines Run Curiously Underpowered Rolling Yawnbarges

Mini:

Metrosexual Idiots Need Instructions

Mitsubishi:

Mechanics Investigate Trouble, Some Understand, But It's Sure Had It

Nissan:

Nasty Import Styles Seem All Normal

Oldsmobile:

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Incessantly Late Everyday

Pagani:

Prissy Aristocrats Gather Accumulated Net Income

Pontiac:

Ponderous, Old, Noisy — These Indicate Attributes, Clearly

Porsche:

Pricks Or Rich Shitheads Can Have ‘Em

Rolls-Royce:

Rich Old Lame Louts Still Run Over Your Childhood Expectations

Saab:

Sadly Absent, Always Broken

Saturn:

Slow And Tasteless: Upgrade Right Now!

Scion:

Sad Cars Inspire Only Nausea

Smart:

Smug Men Are Really Tiny

Subaru:

Shift Up, Because Always Revs Unnecessarily

Suzuki:

Sadly Uninspired Zip Ultimately Kills It

Tesla:

Technology Excesses Seem Lame, Actually

Toyota:

Totally Ordinary Yawn-Optimizing Tedious Autos

Volkswagen:

Very Ordinary Looking Krautwagons Saddled With Apathetic German Engineering Now

Volvo:

Vacuous Owners Love Vehicular Oddities

Vroom-vroom Steemians!