funny quotes about friends | funny quotes about school | funny quotes about life and love | funny quotes about school life

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. ~ Albert Einstein

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. ~ Woody Allen

When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble. ~ Mark Twain

No wonder the teacher knows so much; she has the book. ~ Edgar Watson Howe

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary section. ~ Norm Crosby

You can’t learn in school what the world is going to do next year. ~ Henry Ford

Our school education ignores, in a thousand ways, the rules of healthy development. ~ Elizabeth Blackwell

He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.

I asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic, he told me how he killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.

I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make them when nobody is looking.

Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~ Albert Einstein

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance. ~ Oscar Wilde

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. famous funny sayings and quotes about life.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? funny quotes about life love and friends.

It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? famous funny quotes about life and love.

If there's no love in the world,... let's make some. funny quotes about life and love images.

Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. quotes about life and friends funny.

You're like a sharpie - super fine. funny encouraging quotes about life.

We only live once. I couldn’t bare a second time.

Living is good. But I’d prefer to live good somewhere else.

The longer the diagnosis, the shorter is the life left to live.

Live as someone has left an open gate for you.

It would be nice to live as everyone else, but my conscience.

Shit happens, just flush it down and move on.

Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it.

You cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours.

Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you were born to stand out?

I don’t regret the things I’ve done, but those I did not do. – from Empire Records.

Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Everyone has a friend who laughs funnier than he jokes.

We all have that one friend, how needs to learn how to Whisper.

Friendship is the key to everything.

You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.

Never let your friends feel lonely, disturb them all the time.

Me and my best friends can communicate just with…. Face expression.

It’s funny where life can take you. Kathleen Kennedy.

I’m not very funny at all in real life. Julian Barratt

Life is funny. If you don’t laugh, you’re in trouble. Taylor Hawkins

Life is funny, at the same time being totally harsh. Isabel Gillies

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?” – Jerry Seinfeld

Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave. Quentin Crisp

An unwatched pot boils immediately. ~H.F. Ellis

How is it that one match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box of matches to start a campfire? ~Christy Whitehead

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. ~Author Unknown

If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered. ~Edgar Allan Poe

I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror. ~Elaine Dundy

Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed.--Laurie Colwin

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Why should other planets be any different from this one?

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

ou fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.

If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.

Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long.

I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.

If you have friends who are as weird as you, then you have everything.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.

A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.

You and I are more than friends. We’re like a really small gang.