Friendships - not all of them are good.
I once had a friend that I let in totally she knew everything about me, I opened my house to her and her kids. For 4 years I let this person nearly ruin my life.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://s20.postimg.org/frxehht0d/photo_8.jpg)
I have always been guarded, held myself back not letting anyone in too far. But this time was different or so I thought, I wanted a close friend someone to share everything with, someone I could rely on and be there for them.
I opened my heart to her and her 3 children, she was single with twins and a young boy. Her children had problems 2 of them had ADHD like my daughter. I wanted to help as they didn't have much plus she didn't know much about ADHD where as I had searched every site on the Internet for advice, read loads of books and watched programs to get as much advice as possible.
The first 3 years were ok we got on really well or so I thought. I wasnt watching the relationship I was just going with the flow, It was much later I realised I was going with her flow.
I did everything she wanted to do, when she wanted to go out we went out, It was always her decision I had lost my voice. I played with her children on my knee, played games and talked to them she pushed my girls away. I was married she wasn't and she wanted me the same way. I even left my hubby once after a massive row, I moved in with her. It was then I started to see this wasn't a good friendship. She drained me to the point I couldn't stand up for myself. She would make comments about me or my daughters but whenever I said anything wrong about hers she would go in a huff. She seemed to love it when her children were poorly as everyone gathered round to help, she would constantly say her children were ill, say they had problems they didn't have plus when her children were naughty they got away with everything or she would apologise to them.
![](https://steemitimages.com/640x0/https://s20.postimg.org/6vmmdk2e5/never_run_back_to_a_person_that_you_need_to_walk.jpg)
It took me over 3 years to see what was happening to me, my girls hated her, my hubby called her dangerous but I didn't see it until she got her own way me moving out then moving in with her. She didn't realise that me moving out made me and hubby closer, we talked more and he made me see what she had done.
I was more shocked at myself for letting her in and letting her rule my life. I moved back home which made her annoyed saying I was weak, it took me a few weeks to realise she was toxic, she made me feel useless when I knew it was me that she couldn't live without I knew I could move on without her.
We stopped talking and haven't spoke in over 10 years. I see her around town still single still loud and annoying but she never looks at me she has her head down.
I do miss the friendship but I don't miss her, it had made me even more guarded now with everyone. But saying goodbye to a toxic friend is the best move I made.
![]() | Hi I am Karen, I am here to write about my life and read about yours.. If you like what you read please upvote and leave me a message so I can come visit you | follow me on Twitter |
---|
Agree 100%. Toxic people are dangerous. I left a toxic boss in April. Best thing i ever did.
They drain you to the point you can't see clearly. Glad you made the move :)
Louisa May was saying that friends must be selected: more you select them and more you enjoy those you have
Its true thank you :)
There are a lot of people who drain your energy and optimism by continuously complaining about their life, and convincing everyone that they are somehow a victim. I have done it before to my friends when I was feeling really down. But I corrected myself and apologized for shedding my burdens on them.
That was nice of you. I never have told my friends about my past I always have the smiling face mask on hiding how I feel
My ex-husband was very toxic. Sadly, so is my mother. Even sadder still is the fact that I don't harbor any hate or animosity. None. In fact, I'm indifferent, which seems worse in a way. At least with animosity there is emotion behind it.
Antway - I am certainly glad that you got away from that kind of garbage. Sometimes listening to our intuition is difficult especially when we desperately want something.
Both my parents were toxic hate them for it, glad you don't hold any animosity :)