Please Humor Me For A Moment(Friday Poets' Poetry Exchange)

Ok so I mentioned that I been in a mood
I know have talked about this before,
please humor me for a moment,

Minute by Minute, Hour by Hour, Day by Day,
Life by Life, Death by Death, Dream by Dream

Reality falls apart on me,
only to repeat again and again,
upon waking up.

Down and out,
sitting at the edge of the abyss,
life in the trenches of hyperspace

I been here before,
You have been here before,
I believe we have all been here before
And where might this place or mood be?

It's the discontent of being disconnected
the fear and loathing at the collapse of the narrative

we structure this context of the human condition
we make up a story of society
we paint these masks of humanity

all the while there is
a deep metaphor deficit
that can never be paid
we have written a check of false reality
cashed a paid day loan of perception

a lesser version of the dream
a lesser version of beauty
a lesser version of actuality

you see the thing itself
is beyond our silly words
is beyond our silly minds
is within the depths of our being

the direct experience of everything
the felt experience of the everywhen

you see,
it's not the dream that is real
it's the dreaming

and we float about life,
trying to grasp onto
the liquid possibilities

the water of reality
always seeping thru
our perception

most of us give into
the dis ease
but some us struggle
with IT
and few
dance with IT

there is nothing
to be won
or to fight
or to worry about
or to give into
Its only to be experience

and yes I know this is
a lot of nutty raving
but sometimes it
needs to be said

so on this late night
I am saying it
to you and most importantly
to myself

you see this too
even tho its true enough

it's still nonsense
as it beyond senses
or maybe a better
turn of phrase
deep sense

it's in the pit of our being
actually it's what ties all being
to every other being and nothingness
and everything else in between

you see my love
I think to much
and feel deeply everything
and at times like these
it’s too much for one soul to bare

I like to tell myself
that everything is alright forever
and ever, which it is

but I know this too
is just something to tell the self
a self that is just another thing

itself like all things
ready to seep thru
my fingertips,
dissolve into nothingness

as I sharpen my pen
wrestling with my thoughts
poking holes in reality
peeling back perception
waiting for the muse

ready to dance
once again
with the Logos

Babe, I don't care
in the deepest and
the truthest sense
of that strange word

and now back to reality
it always comes on
at the peek of the rush

when am in IT
there is this clarity
and everything
I mean everything
is with in my grasp

and I dubstep
my way thru
the dreamtime
but just before
the bass is
about 'drop

I always get this numb feeling
and at times I try to
drown it out
or drink it up
as if Dionysus
really knows anything

and I get lost in the mist
playing around in the
haze of fake bliss

trying to outrun reality
only to bang my
head against it

and then am left
with nothing
but my silly self
and society,
the game of life

it's so empty
and cold
i can hardly stand it

but I lay in bed
soaking in the pain and discomfort
Every last drop
Of sublime Mellon Collie
and the eternal emptiness

there is a certain beauty
in the hangover of existence
In existential anguish of reality
The What I Have Become! of infinity

that I have learned to really experience it
in it whole array of senses

and paint reality with my dreams
and my dream paint me with reality

I can never really ever say
what it is that I really want to say

and you know this
you feel this
how can you not?

its ok you don't have to say
anything
I have said enough for
the both of us

I don't need to hear
deep reality from you

I just need to hear
that your there
that you will hold my hand
as we sit at the abyss
that you will watch me
as I dance my moon dance

I will be the one the brings up the sun
and you will be the one the pulls
down the moon

don't worry my love
I will teach you the dance of the dead
and how to sing the songs of eternity
To the heartbeat of the universe

Its ok if you don't remember
because I will always remember
I am the gatekeeper
the groundskeeper of the dreamtime
and I seen you before
I have felt you before

quite literally we
have played cosmic games
within our dreams
with each other

this my eternal friend
is no small feat
Or incidental fact

its something more
real than real
but perhaps I have said to much

I wish you much love
and I hope when
this hits your eyes
that you can have
the felt experience of I
once again...