Hi @medusaeffect,
I read your freewrite 2 times and understood each word separately, but the references cited in your internal monologue evaded me.
What happened to your granddaughter? What did it have to do with the woman who called you about her ovarian cyst, and her half-drunk mother-in-law? What did it have to do with you?
I've got the feeling that your daughter-in-law had an abortion. If I am right - that sucks.
It was hard for me to put it into words. I was trying to tell myself something without admitting how horrible it was to find out that, for a second time, my granddaughter was molested at her mother's house. I wondered if I might have done more to protect her since, the first time I told her father not to try to remove her from her mother's care since it wasn't her fault. I always try to feel guilty for everything, but this time I'm really there. You seem to have grasped the emotion of the situation even though I didn't express it properly.
Sorry to hear this. I also have two granddaughters and would hate if something happens to them. At the same time, I don't see a point in blaming yourself.
First, it was not your fault.
Second, by blaming yourself you are not helping your granddaughter.
I obviously don't know all the details and it isn't my business. But if I were in your shoes I would try to do what I can to help your granddaughter if it is at all possible in your situation.
If there was abuse I'd contact the police, but make sure you have proof. Just stating that your granddaughter deviated her glance from your scrutiny isn't enough.
STOP BLAMING YOURSELF! You need to have a clear mind so you can DO something!
I normally wouldn't sort things out in this venue, but the day was long. I am encouraged greatly by your generous comments. I am not one to wallow. I will be vigilant. Thank you.
Wish you all the luck in the world!
Thank you so much.