You are sharing your heart. This is the first step to growth on steemit. Try not to be critical of your progress, and just learn as you go. Yes it is difficult in the beginning, but it is also very worth it. Have you tried the shallow end chat room? It's not as hard to assimilate in that room. There's also a quiet room that is not quite so fast-paced for new people. If you need help you can private message me and when I login we can chat. You can find me @wandrnrose7 there. I don't know all the answers, but I can help you with something that is troubling you.