Can I Keep the Hat? [freewrite challenge]

Today's freewrite challenge writing prompt is: toilet!

I read your love letter sitting on the toilet. That was an inappropriate place, you told me. "Don't ever think of me when you're on the throne," you said. And now, I think of nothing but you in the bathroom because you told me not to.

Our first date happened at an apple orchard. Blossoms scented the air, your hair. You wore a calico apron and we drank cider. I put a daisy over your ear and kissed your cheek. You blushed.

And now, I fully associate you with toilets. Nothing but. When I hear someone fart, I immediately think of you.

Your'e screaming. Don't do that.

You wrote me a love poem, full of soul and long words. I bought you a chocolate ice cream. You bought me a yarn hat. We lugged our books to the library and consumed Chaucer in silence.

I thought I heard you fart, but you continued reading as if nothing had happened.

So I asked you. The look on your face made me laugh.

Then you hit me and left.

Goodbye, pretty girl.

Can I keep the hat?