When Dad was diagnosed with cancer I lost my emotional shit. Was strong in front of them, but at home, I was a mess.

Yeah, it is the same for me at the moment. I'm kinda losing my shit. Been drinking too much as well lately. This post doesn't tell the whole story if I'm honest. I suffers from that bloggers affliction of sugar coating things in the worry that I'll turn people off my writing.

It is my mum who has been diagnosed, and if they go that will be everyone in my immediate family kicked the bucket in the past 10 years. I'm completely accepting of my own mortality but it's bitter when it's others you love. Still, it could be worse. They're saying all the right things at the hospital to make me think it can be treated. Still a few more tests yet to know which way they'll go... surgery or treatment (radio therapy or chemotherapy). I try to be positive for my mum but I'm finding it hard to feel positive in general.

That's life, the important thing is to keep trying.