The Potbellied Football Pundits Who Were Very Intelligent (Freewrite Story)

mr-neil (60)in #freewrite • 6 years ago (edited)

Prompt: potbellied provided by @mariannewest

They played together and now they work together. What could be better? Watching the game that they love. Commenting on the game they love.

The years are catching up with them but they still are enjoyed by millions of avid fans. These older statesmen of the game, Andy and Alan show why they are so loved.

Alan is the main presenter.

“Hello, today we will discuss VAR, that's video assistant referees. Was it successful during the World Cup? Will it now be implemented throughout the global game?”

“Yes Alan, there are lots of things to talk about, my old friend. Some of the things worked better than I thought. However, there were also some disastrous moments, like in the final.”

“Yes, Andy. I have to agree. Let's have look at that penalty decision.”

“Yes, Alan. This was the disastrous moment. It should never have been a penalty, you tart.”

“Yes, Andy, you are quite right, you nincompoop. The referee took too long to decide. If he wasn't sure, he should not have given it.”

“Yes, Alan, you silly twit. No penalty should have been given.”

“Yes, Andy, the penalty should not have been given. He has ruined the game, you silly old fart.”

“Yes, Alan. You talk a lot of sense for someone who should stick their head up their ass just to make them more attractive.”

“But I have a question, Andy. Will this now be used every week during the regular season, you plank for brains? Actually, I apologise for that last remark. I enjoy intellectual debate with you, even though you smell like a goat.”

“You smell like a fish and a goat.”

“You smell like a fish, a goat who's just spend the past hour rolling around in dog poo.”

“You are the dog poo.”

“Let's get back to discussing football, Alan. Will we see VAR in the league this year?”

“No, I don't think we will, Andy. I think they want to test it a bit more first. Make sure it is all working properly.”

“I agree, Alan. We want a system that works well.”

“Thank you very much for your comments, Andy. I have found them stimulating as usual. It is always a pleasure to talk and present this programme with you.”

“Yes, Alan. We've been friends for a long time and I think it shows. That is why people tune in every week.”

Thank you for reading. I remember back in the 1990s, Paul Newman and David Baddiel. They played two old professors that ended up calling each other names. So I wanted to do something similar with some old football pundits that played together. They are “friends" and perhaps they don't even notice when they are insulting each other.

It also is a bit more of a risk for me, trying to do something different. Does it work? I'm not sure. Let's see.

Have a great rest of the day.