Freewrite 746 : Trophy

"C'mon then, sir, let me have a suck on it.", She said, eyes wide with excitement.

"You wont be happy with it," Said the professor, "But you go for it, knock yourself out"

So she did.

Abigail sucked as hard as she possibly could on the hose pipe trying to inhale, she bent herself forwards quickly, trying to fill her lungs up as much air as possible.

Then she hit her head on the dashboard of the car. Very hard.

Without so much as a murmur, She lumped forwards, unconscious. And then fell over sideways, her head nestled comfortably in the professors groin.

"Oh, fuck!" Shouted the professor, startled.

This was bad. This was verrrry bad.

His day of sweet oblivion and escape from everything (but mostly Abigail), from a simple exhaust pipe had now shifted to an extremely uncomfortable situation.

He was now most assuredly winner of the most botched up suicide attempt, in history.

He was fairly sure that he was gonna be winner of the yearly faculty sweepstakes competition as well.
'The teacher who persuaded the the hottest girl of the year, to get into his car', .

Faculty consensus had agree Abigail was hottie of the year. Even the female faculty members agreed, which never happened.
(They were way too catty, and jealous, and couldn't ever admit to just one particular girl being that hot.
But they did with Abigail).

So that was trophy number two guaranteed.

'Oh!' He thought, he was no doubt gonna be the the winner of 'getting a girl unconscious by sucking on a bong' as well.
'An unorthodox approach', he conceded, but it seemed effective.

But the pinnacle of his achievements in the various competitions that the faculty ran every year, the biggest trophy of them all, was his also, he just realized.

He had quite successfully, and without any effort whatsoever, managed to get one of the campus hotties heads, in his lap.
In a car.
In the UCLA car park.
In the daytime.

They hadn't yet made the trophy big enough, for this one.
It was something only ever talked about, but never taken seriously. So they hadn't bothered to make a trophy for it yet.
This was the one race that every teacher whispered about, but no teacher ever dared to enter.
It was the holy grail of holy grails.
The very pinnacle of juvenile pastimes that the bored faculty staff fantasized about.

But here he was.
The campus hotty, head in his lap, face down. He didn't think her state of consciousness would come into too much, when it came to the accolades..

"Fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck! fuck!," He screamed, hitting the steering wheel as hard a he could with his hands, out of frustration of the situation that he now found himself in.

Which was a little unfortunate, really.

...Abigail had just gained consciousness, and she was lifting her head up, out of the professor lap.

Thinking that she'd just had the strongest bong in the history of mankind, she started to raise her head, just when the two fists of the frustrated professor cam down, and hit the back of head.
Hard.
...Back down she went in total silence, unconscious once more.
Back in the professors lap.

The professor stopped hitting the steering wheel (or the back of Abigail's head, depending at what point you were watching the events).

All the breath left his body.

'Did they have a trophy for the first faculty member to to inflict GBH on an unconscious student?', He wondered.
He was sure to get that trophy too.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!", he shouted one last time.

And then he heard a tap on on the window, and looked up at the source of the knocking.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK" Didn't even come close to what his mind was now starting to scream to himself...