Representing the great state of Carolina (you decide which one is great)... Jay Bingtropicana!
“Call me Bing, like the cherry, k?”
They did, and when Jay, whomever they turned out to truly be, got them also saying “Bing” it made a light turn on on the top of the Sears tower (Which was now called the Home Depot tower)
And that light led Santa to his doom. Santa was trying to find his way, but that light was so bright that it made him think he was at a coast and it was a lighthouse, so he tried landing on the water, but it was too far from Lake Michigan, and, well, you know the rest of the story.
And that’s why you should eat all the cherry pies you find. So no one is tempted to talk about them. They’ll be gone. Inside you. Where they can’t hurt anybody.