Late -5minutefreewrite
She was always late. When the bus came to pick her up, she wasn't there anymore. She'd gotten so used to being late that when she was early, she got confused and left so that she could come back on time, but when she returned, she was, natch, late.
At work, wandering in at lunch with twigs in her hair and a sack lunch soaking through her brown bag: spaghetti and meatballs.
She was so late, occasionally she woke up in the middle of meetings that hadn't happened yet. She was so late, tachyons asked her what she had for breakfast. Nonsense made sense, and there were tubes of toothpaste that hadn't even been opened yet.
She was so late, she was running backwards through her life. Finally, on her 21st birthday she got her drivers' license. Then when she was 25, she hit puberty. At 30, she learned to read, at 45, she could count to 100, and then finally, when she was 93 years old, she was born.
From then on, she was early. So early to things that she got her first job as a newspaper deliverer when she was 30. So early that she got her first REAL job, as an assistant editor at that same newspaper when she was 12. So early that she took a baby aspirin every day when she was 5, and so early that the last colostomy she'd ever need was performed when she was 2.
Well, I’m glad I’m not too late to be the first with a comment here.
Yeeha! Congratulations. That's nearly a pun! I love puns. It's not a pun, but it's the same kind of cleverness.
It was n-early a pun, so not too late!
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