Arson -5minutefreewrite (x3)

For https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/weekend-freewrite-3-the-first-sentence

I put tulips under all the pillows, and then I set fire to the house. They smelled so pretty, like a bakery. A dutch bakery. A dutch oven. Too late to change my mind now!

Hee hee hee. I love fire and odd behavior. I managed to fit both into one activity. It's a good thing houses burn so easily. I thought it would be harder, but all I really had to to was light some paper on fire (easy) and leave it next to some wooden furniture.

These things did not pass any inflammability tests.

Now I wonder if it matters that the tulips were there. They all burned up anyways. I want the police to come in and analyze the ashes and be confused about the presence of tulips... Or to connect these burned tulip DNA with the tulips that the dutch people have and figure out that I'm dutch.

They won't, though. I don't think DNA can survive fire.

I cheated on my spouse and it wasn't the first time. I was trying to spread my DNA far and wide so that it would be harder to pinpoint whether I was at the scene of the crime to do the crime or just to be a participant in some other illicit activity that would make me act oddly but not be illegal. Reasonable doubt, you know? And is arson really that bad? I mean really? Isn't it just like being one of those people who gets to light off the fireworks? You know... A firefighter. You fight fire with fire. It's hard to hold a hose, so you might as well hold a torch. You know the brits call flashlights torches they must have more fun over there. That's a nice word. pies and crumpets, you know? Tutty byes. How's about a pancake for the lads over on downing street, they'll say, and I'll say top o' the mornin' to ya!

The thing he does with the newspaper really gets me excited. he twists it before he lights it on fire. You get a slower, hotter burn that way. I'm so proud of my son. He excels. He exceeds my level of competence with flame he sees how the flame will behave before it even licks the edges of whatever he's trying to burn/ Practically a god of flame, that one. There's a reddish hue to his hair. I haven't got it, nor his mum... Maybe she put her dna elsewhere, too. No matter, he's certainly me son because he loves fire the way that I do...

none of this boiling water nonsense. burn the pasta, and eat the charred sticks.