ticked

For https://peakd.com/hive-161155/@mariannewest/day-1743-5-minute-freewrite-sunday-prompt-ticked-off

I started this on another computer, but got distracted so I'm trying again. I guess I'll talk about minor annoyances. They're mostly all mental blocks. Why get down on myself already? I'm doing the freewrite, ain't I? I got things I want to do and I'm already anticipating that I won't get as much done as I want to. I mean I want to finish all the tasks... or rather, I suppose I want them to be done. I... have to use hope.. Lol. I listened to a quarter of a podcast about hope as a practice and now I think I'm an expert.

No, but here's the useful thing I've already gained. It's not that I have to BELIEVE that doing a thing will lead to another thing...it's that hoping it will even without knowing can be motivation to do it. I don't have to fight with worry that it won't. I know it might not. Do it anyway because you hope it will. Does that make sense? Like, I hope writing Gentle Werewolf will lead to other good things in my life. I suppose I can also reframe it as "Gentle Werewolf DOES lead to other good things" even if it's not good, it's still good to write it. Le sigh.

Why le sigh? Just a habit I suppose. Like c'est la vie and trying to think of multiple examples when only one actually came to mind.

Talking
Speaking
Spitting words

Ticked off. The other version of this was about being ticked off at lyme disease.

I suppose I'm ticked off at disease in general. And at bodies not being at peak performance. I was running every day and enjoying it, and then my foot started hurting, and there doesn't seem to be any cure except NOT running, and that's very annoying. And it spirals me. I want to run, but I don't want my foot to hurt. Very annoying. And I don't do other things for my body as well when I don't run.