What Most People Call Love Is Actually HATE - Daily Osho Zen Tarot Reading for December 9, 2017
I was on the edge of my seat wondering if we would get the Sharing card for the FOURTH day in a row today! I can see how the road has been paved for today's card: The Lovers.
Over the last three days we talked about Sharing and how to connect with such an inner bounty that it flows outward. The Lovers card is an expansion of that message. The Lovers card says that what 99% of people know as love is not love. Ready for this? What most people know of love is HATE. Grasping and clawing at another person, control. Clinging and holding tight so that we can get what we want, so that we can get our needs met. This is the opposite of Love. Love is freedom.
Most people are so utterly deprived of Love that they are quite sick. And the story that they have about Love is sexual partnership. They find a sexual partner and then CLING FOR DEAR LIFE.
There are three stages of a sexual partnership, and most couples do not make it beyond step two. Here are the stages:
The Honeymoon Stage
Power Struggle
Divine Love
In the Honeymoon Stage the other can do no wrong. They seem perfect in your eyes. Then comes Power Struggle. This is where most people stay. The other is not even a sovereign individual to you. They exist only to make you happy. To the other, you are the same, and there comes the power struggle. Both people are deficient and lacking, drawing on the other for satisfaction and completion. This drains both until there is nothing left to draw on, and the relationship ends.
Few people make it to the next stage, which is divine love and compassion. FREEDOM. Love is Freedom.
"Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?" -Thich Nhat Hanh
This third stage is expansive love. This is healing love. Instead of constricting the other, the other grows. In this love, you mirror each other's divinity and infinity. This Love is respect. You turn to your own inner bounty to get what you need. You do not cling to the other to get it. This Love is exemplified by the Sharing card.
Sexual love is perhaps the most toxic of the love relationships in this culture. These rules for Love apply to all relationships. Your relationship with your child should also bring them freedom and expansion and a deeper connection with their self.
Please use the insight we shared with you in the Sharing readings to guide you in how to act in a loving relationship.
The two people in this card look the same. Perhaps they are the same person. You must be your own lover first. You must turn to the infinity of your own inner resources before you have a lick of hope of having a loving relationship with another that doesn't drain and exhaust. Let the other be your mirror. When a problem arises in that relationship, turn inward and see what it says about you.
"When your love is not just a desire for the other, when your love is not only a need, when your love is a sharing, when your love is not that of a beggar but an emperor, when your love is not asking for something in return but is ready only to give - to give for the sheer joy of giving - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance is released. That is compassion; compassion is the highest phenomenon."
Do not hate and say that it is Love. Please stop deluding yourself. Your love is sick and full of fear and lack. It instills fear and lack into the other and drains the other. Love is compassion. This is the highest form of love. When you try to get from another, this is not love. This is illness. This is a kind of depravity. Let yourself be full. You already are. Stop telling all these old stories about how unlovable you are. Stop telling all these stories of lack, and then you can be in Love. Not in love merely with a sexual partner; in Love with life. The first manifestation of not being in a place of total lack is that you will start to love life and you will start to trust life. That is when you know you can safely be in a relationship with another without hurting them and taking away their sovereignty. From your mother, you demand certain behaviors and that she make you feel certain ways which are never fulfill-able. It is a bottomless pit. From your brother the same and your friends and your sister. They all have different roles and different ideas that you think they should play out in your life. And when they don't there is hell to pay. When you let all of this go and allow the other freedom and sovereignty and stop making them responsible for your own fulfillment and happiness, then you have a chance at a loving relationship with them that will help you both to expand. Let them off the hook. Look to your own divinity. Stop suffocating them.
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