Freewrite 6: procrastination-delaying the inevitable

Arghh! I keep doing it. Pushing off responsibility, pushing off things i need to do, even if I want to do them. It’s a problem I tend to have.

And freewriting isn’t even the problem her. Yes, I know I promised I’d try to do a freewrite a day and failed, but honestly I did try to do the freewrites, those mostly got messed up because of unexpected, unavoidable things on my schedule. It’s really my other responsibilities which I’m avoiding.

Some of them are even on steemit, like the story I’ve been hoping to write. It wasn’t intended, I just took a picture of something which just… tickled my mind with an idea for a story. every time I thought about it, it got a little revision, until it hit the point that I knew I needed to push it to the back of my mind until I could get to a keyboard to type it up, or at least a pen and paper to script a first draft.

I don’t know if professional writers work like that, I don’t even know if unprofessional writers work like that. For all I know I’m the only one whose brain works like this, though I highly doubt it, for “There is nothing new under the sun.”

Anyways. This story has been bugging me, and I realy want to write it. Possible more than I want to do this freewrite, though I highly doubt that as well, for how else am I to vent my need for world-domination? Even maniacs need some sort of psychotherapy.

But despite my desire to write said story (or unsaid story, as the case may be), I keep delaying it, procrastinating, just overall pushing it off with various excuses. (I also write things which are redundant, repetitive, extraneous, unnecessary, extra, and repetitive. Seriously.) I mean, I finished three books today. And I don’t mean books which I had already begun, oh no, these books I read from start to finish. And I know, with the way I’m addicted to books and the fact that I can read a page in about 15 seconds (and actually process it far better than most) depending on the size of said page, I suppose it is pretty much a given that I’ll read a lot.

And yet… And yet I find that this reading is as much an excuse to push off the things I need to do as it is my actual desire to read (oops meant to say being fueled by, but no corrections in a freewrite, eh?) Well, no it’s probably not fueled by my desire to procrastinate quite as much as it is my desire to read, but still.

And today wasn’t a normal day for me anyway. While I did have to get up at a normal time this morning, for I had things to do, I had the rare opportunity to go back to bed afterwards while I was still able to fall asleep! And while I know this may not seem that surprising to you, the opportunity to sleep while I’m actually able to fall asleep is a rather rare thing, and happens far less often than I would wish, and for far too few hours each night. But getting back on topic, this nap meant that I basically lost the morning, and so had fewer hours to both work and “play” as it were.

And if this is how I push off the work that I actually want to do ( this being my reading of three books from start to finish as well as my taking of numerous breaks to walk around and simply let my mind wander/wonder - quite a useful thing, and very effective for taking breaks or brainstorming - far less effective for when I actually have work to do), imagine how much I push off the work that I really don’t want to do. (Yes, there was a sentence I left off in the middle of before that long parenthesis, just in case you forgot.)

Oh well, my time is almost up, and I should probably stop typing so I can get back to that actual work I’m supposed to be doing.

Hyperbole out.

Note: as per usual this was written free write style, nothing corrected more than 3 seconds after being typed (sorry, that's just instinctual). It took me 24 minutes and 27 seconds, then a second to pause the timer afterwards.