Unforgivable?

'how long had she been here?' wondered a mind reflecting upon itself. Everything felt so heavy, her body finding form through resistance, and so the senses sought more. 'was she supposed to be going somewhere?' as weight shifted in no particular direction. eyes opening, her brain began it's work. 'why is it so dark?' as a point of light approached from the distance. destination spotted a question wandered by. 'where was she supposed to be going again?' as a single point blossomed into many. 'yes, the light,' she believed as the number shrank to one. 'but why the light?' as the distance halved infinitely. she had done something. 'but what?' drove her to gaze into the searing white. a breath away she began to see. her hand reached out to her own hoping to prevent the crime which had brought her here. across a distance that could never be crossed she found her voice with an endless scream. 'could she ever be forgiven?' the unbearable burden of what she had done weighing her eyes shut. 'how long had she been here?' wondered a mind reflecting upon itself.

---

So, if you made it through that, thanks for reading?

I'm sure it wasn't easy. There's a lot about writing that I'm still figuring out, will probably be figuring out until the day that I die. Like any art I guess, hehe. If you've taken the time for that, I thought maybe you might want to hear about why I wrote what I wrote.

First, I ran across this lovely challenge

Hosted by @vermillionfox through a fellow Steemer's submission. I saw the post for Week #14, liked the inspiration image, and especially the challenge about an infinite loop combined with the pic. As a new writer I seem to do best when given a focus and a limitation. Like a lot of the free writes I do for @mariannewests's daily Five Minute Free Write. That stuff is addicting :)

So, my mind was in a twirl. What do I write about? How do I spin it together? How do I make it interesting? How do I get it all to loop together?

The idea of hell, or maybe purgatory,

Depending on what you think her crime is came to mind after I wrote the first couple lines. I'll be honest, there wasn't too much direction and once I hit the wall of, 'um, where do I go from here?' it took a number of minutes to figure the path. Lots of frustration at this point, lots. Like pacing the room scratching my head annoying my roommate kind of frustration.

But, the idea clicked itself into place and the rest of it came out slowly, and painfully. Lot's of going back. Throwing in words, cutting others out, removing stuff I loved for stuff I loved more...that kind of thing.

The idea of a mind slowly becoming aware of itself

And creating the universe as it 'wakes up' appealed to me for some reason. And, like I said before, once I came up with the purgatory/hell idea it was a question of how would the mind progress itself to where I could reset the loop? And, what would trigger the reset point? Those were a couple gnarly questions that involved more pacing...I actually came up with a completely different concept at this point, but I didn't want to get distracted aaaaand we can do up to three entries so I shelved it.

The end is where I kind of had to get a bit vague so the paragraph wouldn't get too long. Like @vermillionfox said, the paragraph rule is loose but if it feels long... I hope a lot of peoples background with religion would make a few answers pop up without me telling them what to think. Unforgivable crime? Are we speaking old-school, like murder, or more modern unforgivable like suicide? And, could she be forgiven? Could she ever bridge that infinite gap between her and the light and find redemption? Or would she be doomed to realize and then shut out the crime forever. Trapped in an infinite loop of torture.

So, pink fluffy bunnies!

Sorry, just wanted to bring the mood up a bit. Hope it worked. I've never been a big fan of religion, their concepts of heaven, hell, purgatory, and all the stages in between, crime, punishment...ugh. I just like to live my life and not screw other people over. Figured that was pretty easy to do without having to belief in...well...stuff. So far it has been. I guess this is an illustration of a point. Does anyone deserve an eternity of reliving a crime committed during their short lives?

I hope you enjoyed these wild ramblings and unfocused punctuations. I'm excited by my first entry into this challenge. There are so many amazing people doing so many amazing things in this ecosphere. And I'm so glad I can be a part of it :)

if you need some background music for this, check out what I was listening to while writing :)