Your welcome and thanks for sharing your feelings :

For me, it is easier to forgive those who hurt me than to forgive myself for letting them have control over my emotions and happiness in life as a whole.

Humans and emotions are complex and many things are intertwined. A famous American Indian proverb goes something like this: ‘Try not to judge a person until you have walked a mile in their moccasins.”
We never know what others are going through.