CAN ONE REALLY FORGIVE AND FORGET? MAYBE WE CAN, OR STRUGGLE WITH IT FOR LIFE.

The pains of seeing her leave for another man was excruciating, too much to bear. My only crime was waiting for marriage before sex
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A scar was created

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In the real world, everyone get offended at some point. The offences differ and the processes of handling it differ, but the memories of it is difficult to discard
From home to school! From office to office! From family member to family member! From government to government! In fact, from every walk of life, offences emerge and hurts are created, most times at a period not expected. Apart from the fact that we don't expect some trivial issues to bring annoyance and quarrels, we are surprised to be faced with it. Example is a colleague in office getting annoyed and staging a quarrel over the fact that you always borrow Biro everyday at work. Good, you are not careful in keeping yours after it was shared, but the issue of a simple writing tool, when viewed by others shouldn't bring disagreement, but it did. Now everyone in the other offices are aware that you are a borrower of Biro. Let anyone ask you for his money you borrowed to take lunch because you exhausted your cash the previous day, and all eyebrows will be raised with the slogan 'that's how he goes about borrowing', now that can really hurt. How do you forget such embarrassment!

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Talk about weightier offences

The case of betrayal from someone you love. If someone you gave your heart to decided to cheat on you, how do you forgive that, not to talk of removing the image of him/her kissing another from your mind. When a scar is created, erasing it is a very difficult thing to do. You gave your all in the relationship, letting go of all other wonderful options to stick to him alone, though he wasn't the best. You were ready to make him the best through your love and care. Friends discouraged you, but you encouraged yourself because you saw a future with him. You were busy letting others go, but he was busy gathering more lovers at your back. That's a scenario some people might still need to forgive. Some times it happens when you are already married.

What about hatred from people you never offended

You just discovered someone hating on you for no reason known to you. They go about telling lies about you at your back. People start seeing you as shit without you knowing why, and oops, you found out the culprit someday. How do you let go of such!

Funny part is that most people don't apologize when they are wrong, in fact some sees the act of offending others as their birthright. They tend to justify their actions and come out boldly with hateful words. At such point, you feel like revenging. You feel you should pay them back in their own coins, especially when you appear foolish to people for not doing so. These are real life issues and most times we box it in our minds because we risk acting childish if we complain. But, since two wrongs can't make a right we must FORGIVE.

We must find a way to let go

Yea, not letting go feels justifying but it deprives the offended of his inner peace. Thus, it has more to do with the offended than the offender. If we wait for apology, we might never forgive some people and we might never enjoy happiness again. The wise thing is to let go and stop the control of that hurt over your mind. There's liberty in forgiving. There's freedom when you set others free.

An eye for an eye would only leave the whole world blind

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No matter how composed we are, people will still step on our toes and we gonna step on theirs. But with a heart of forgiveness, we can live in peace and be happy with each other.

Have a lovely day!