Latte Art for Men (Or How to Impress Your Date With The Least Effort Possible)

There are a few facts in life. One, women like latte art. Two, women like to be impressed. Since realistically you can't impress women, or anyone for that matter, with your Steemit blog, it's quite wise to learn a trick or two.

The other day I was at a high-end artisan coffee shop and while waiting for my coffee happened to observe probably the easiest way to turn an ordinary cup of coffee into latte art with the least amount of skills or effort. And even if you should fuck it all up, it will still look and taste rather impressive.

I've never worked in a coffee shop myself, made these for a living, or have any talent at all for making coffee.

Requirements: Coffee, milk, cinnamon

Step 1: Make coffee, pour into cup

Step 2: Froth milk using whatever means suits you

Step 3: Pour about an inch of the milk/foam onto the coffee

Step 4: Sprinkle a thin layer of cinnamon

Step 5: Pour the rest of the milk/foam which should be about 1/2 inch -- Here is where the magic happens! Pour it around the perimeter of the cup and then in a line down the middle, making sure the cinnamon is mainly visible. Add more if fail.

Step 6: Get a stick, make a pattern through the middle and the cinnamon layer underneath

Step 7: Think of a name of a plant that resembles whatever pattern chanced to occur (best to come prepared having learned some plant names)

Step 8: "I made you a plant name latte art. Did you know that cinnamon strengthens the immune system?" (Here are some other things it does, but they are all primarily to do with weight loss which you should probably never mention unless you wish to be single)

Step 9: Present the cup and watch her reaction

Step 10: Profit

This also works with hot chocolate if you're making it for your kids. Obviously you should skip steps 7 through 10 or you'll be making these in the slammer.

Image Credits
As you can probably tell by the PowerPoint art diagram and my inability to take a screenshot of my own photo in order to resize it, these images are original Saiku creations.