Do whales like pizza?

It's getting more and more annoying. Whales upvoting people's posts, whilst your own posts go unnoticed and hardly scrub up a couple cents..

We also know that all good people love pizza. Now I don't want to sound mean to those who are allergic to it, as it would be unfair to call you "bad people", so I'll make an exception for those. I mean.. I'd be so freaked out if I heard I was allergic to pizza! So I'll not punish you for that.

So whales often eat those really small things like plancton and occasionally some fishes like nemo's father that get trapped in the whale's mouth. But do they eat pizza too? That's the question I'm going to attempt answering in this article :)
If you don't like a lot of text, worry no longer! I will put a lot of pictures in this post :)

Many scientists agree on the fact that evolution split the Hairy People from the Fish People. The Fish People then became Whales&Dolphins and the Hairy People became Apes&Monkeys, which became Humans. Both the Fish People and the Hairy People originated from the Universal Hairy Fish. To make this a bit more clear, I made this image:

So, as you can see in the image, we are closely related to whales. And as we love pizza, shouldn't this closely related species also like pizza? Let's track down some DNA changes that made us who we are...

As humans, we like Pizza. This means, that we should look if the apes also liked pizza. As I don't have money to bribe the police, I decided not to test it on living apes. Therefore, I did some research on ape fossiles. I did my research on an Ancient Ape Skull (A.A.S.), which I found on the internet. I showed my results in the following picture:

As you see, everything of the ape is pointing at the fact that apes ate pizza. They are so specialized in eating it, that they must have loved it a lot. The Universal Hairy Fish has left behind not a single bone, but we know that he existed, because he wrote this on a wall in a cave:

"Shall tho not substitute tout de la pizza, shall I eat 'em... hahaha."

As we see, the ancient Universal Hairy Fish had a good sense of humour, but it also proves that he loved pizza!

Then we arrive at the fish people... As I was lying on my bed, preparing myself for another journey to the other side of the world, I figured out it would be much easier to use logic.. The sea contains Hydrogen (H) and Oxygen (O) atoms. Fis'H' Pe'O'ple. So if you remove the H and O, Fis Peple remains. If you multiply all the numbers of the positions of the letters in the alphabet, the result would be: 6x9x19x16x5x16x12x5= 78796800. That's about 79 million. 79 Million years ago, the First Pizza Restaurant on Mars was opened! Coincidence? I think not! They must've loved it aswell!

And now... Now we arrive at the whales... Do whales love pizza too? Or are they the exception on the large chain of life? Whales are known for their size. And what would they use their size for, other than hiding the pizza from the Shark People, to be able to eat the pizzas themselves?

Occasionally, a meteorite falls down on Earth. What is the reason that we don't find a lot of those meteorites? That's because the Pizza Restaurant on Mars now helps charity! They send their pizzas in meteorites to Earth, for the whales to eat them!

Is that still not enough proof that whales love pizza? Then look at this picture NASA recently took:

This picture NASA has taken, clearly shows a whale trying to steal a Pizza Meteorite! What whale would do this if he/she/it didn't love pizza? He/She/It must therefore be a pizza lover!

It's hard to believe maybe, but.. Whales are also pizza eaters.. And on mass-scale too! So maybe there's still something good inside the heart of those annoying Whale People? I don't know. But what I do know, is that whales love pizza too and that the future of the low-cost pizzas might be endangered if we don't stop them now!

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