So, you're desperate for something yummy, but you're just too darn lazy to reheat leftovers?

Why not have breakfast for dinner!

Jerry Seinfeld has been a big fan of eating cereal at any time of the day. I'm a massive gobbler of oats, oatmeal, porridge..whatever you call it and I've had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, too. That's amazing, right? Jerry and I are like total twinsies. Besties, even.

It's time I shared my newest incarnation of oatmeal.

I usually eat my oats typically with flaxmeal, cacao and cinnamon on soy mylk (among a few other ingredients), but tonight I wanted to replace the flax with nuts. It turns out 1 tbs of flax is enough. More may not be so good (Dr. Greger it). I went with a special nutty trio. Let's get into it!

Yeah, you better believe this is a VEGAN OATS RECIPE! [You'll need a high powered, psycho blender].

Where does one start with any recipe? I suppose you'd need some stuff in your pantry, a brain to work out what the hell to do with it, and of course a hole to stuff it into.

Let's assume you have food in your pantry and you don't have a hole in your backyard you plan on dumping your freshly cooked meals. You're somehow reading this far so I'm questioning whether you really are using your brain. Who was it that said to never insult your readers?

The Stuff.

The special nut mix. Be precise.

• 1/2 handful almonds
• 1/2 handful cashews
• 1/2 handful walnuts

Everything else.

• 1/2 cup quick oats
• 2 tbs cacao powder
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon powder
• 2 tbs molasses syrup
• 1 ripe banana (I froze 30 bananas just the other day - peeled and broken into pieces.)
• 3/4 cup soy mylk

The Goings On Part.

• Microwave the banana for 2 minutes with a splish of water to aid in the softening.
• While the microwave is nuking the banana, throw the nuts into the blender and turn it to meal. Should be speed 10 for about 6 seconds or so in a thermomix.
• Add the nuts and other dry ingredients to you bowl and mix with a spoon. It's easier to do it now and the ingredients will be nice and uniform.
• Add the soy mylk and stir in. If you need more liquid, go for it. I hate porridge that's too thick, so I always seem to add more liquid.
• Using a fork, smoosh the banana once it's out of the microwave, then plop it into the porridge. Stir it in well.
• Microwave on high for at least 90 seconds.
• Pour over the molasses and stir in well.

What a magical recipe! And just look at that glowing face. Captain Douche.

Um. I think I may have kinda clickbaited you. I don't think you'd notice if there wasn't cinnamon. However, I always find a way to sneak in herbs and spices into food to get that amazing nutritional hit.

One last consideration.

If you weren't keen on using cinnamon powder, you could suck the porridge through a cinnamon stick and give yourself an aneurysm in the process.

What a great way to end it. Death by porridge. I'd love to read that coroner's report.

FREE Alternate cover! For upvoters ONLY. If not, look away.

Oh! You're a massive comic book nerd, too? My latest Old Man Logan Review was amazing.

All the best,

Nick.

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All content is original and belongs to @nickmorphew. [31 May 2018]

Disclosure: This article was not a paid promotion and was not self-upvoted. Nor were there any affiliate links.

I’m still looking for an artist to cover my work on my fantasy saga, Adventures in Elowyn Glade.