6 Sentences About Coffee That Make Every Barista CRINGE!

I heard a lot of these during my time working as a barista and I get it, there’s a lot of conflicting information out there in the wide world of coffee. Let’s take a moment to get to the bottom of some of the biggest misconceptions out thee, shall we?

WE SHALL! ONWARD !

#1. "Espresso is my favorite kind of coffee bean.”

Sooo here’s the thing. Espresso isn’t actually kind of bean, OR a kind of roast OR a flavor of coffee. It’s totally understandable why many people believe this, because nearly EVERYTHING is “Espresso Flavored“.

Espresso only refers to the method of brewing and although some coffee purveyors may recommend one type of bean or roast for that method, ANY kind of bean can be used to make espresso.

#2. ”No espresso for me, I’ll be up all night! Just one regular coffee thanks!”

Don’t ever say this to your barista. LIKE EVER. Why? Because although espresso has more caffeine by volume, no one is giving you a full glass of espresso. You’re usually being sold 1 or 2 one ounce shots, the rest is usually milk right? A small latte has the same amount of caffeine as a small drip coffee. #fact

#3. ”I only drink dark roast coffee. It’s stronger.”

Actually the opposite! Darker roasted coffee may TASTE stronger but the longer the beans are roasted the LESS caffeine they usually contain. Light roast beans also tend to have much more complexity of flavor! Poor light roasts, always being overshadowed. #punINTENDED ಠ_ಠ

#4. ”My local roasters are soo expensive! What greedy hipsters!”

Are there some over priced coffees out there? OF COURSE cough, some of them rhyme with SHMAR-BUCKS But here’s the thing you have to remember: Coffee is best within a few short weeks of being roasted. After that it’s considered stale. If we look at this from a financial perspective, the little guys have a SUPER short window to get their product out to you, which means, in the end, small batches and higher prices. If your newly purchased bag of coffee doesn’t have a roast date on it. there’s a reason.

#5. ”I only drink the good stuff. 100% Arabica beans for me!”

Here's the truth. Roughly 70% of the world’s coffee production is Arabica, meaning, YOU GUESSED IT, 25% is robusta. Unless you’re drinking instant coffee, you’re probably not drinking robusta beans anyway. Why, because robusta beans are known to have a MUCH sharper taste to them that’s been widely rejected by the american palette. A coffee shop bragging about serving 100% Arabica coffee is like a brain surgeon bragging about “BARELY ANY MISPLACED BRAINS!”

#6. ”I don’t like coffee, it’s too bitter! Yuck!“

Properly processed, roasted and prepared coffee should NEVER taste bitter. Coffee beans have tons of delicious natural sugars and fruity notes that are only enhanced in the roasting process! The reason why most coffee tastes bitter is because an over roasted, dare I say burnt, bean has a much longer shelf life. Longer shelf life means they can roast in huge batches which saves them time, creates less waste, AND generates more moolah for big coffee.Who’s the greedy ones now? #BOObigcoffee!

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I hope this little post cleared a few things up for you and maybe gave you a bit of a laugh. If you have ANY questions or you would just like to say “HIEEE”! Say hello below, I DARE YOU! :D

<3 Your friendly internet food nerd, Dayleeo!