Breaking Habits - Is 21 Days Enough?

I have a HUGE sweet tooth. I think that everyone who knows me is aware of that - I have what most would consider a rather extreme fondness for treats, and it’s not something that I hide well ;)

When I say “treats,” I really mean anything sweet - but particularly things that contain chocolate, and can be anything from cheesecake to ice cream, I don’t discriminate… The more elaborate and over the top, the better for me!

BUT, I will say that this has been one of the more challenging road blocks standing between me and a healthy diet, and it’s something that has taken me awhile to get under control. If I sound like a crazy sugar addict, that’s partially true - I do believe sugar is highly addictive, and I’ve felt the pull toward it for most of my life.

I am definitely a believer in moderation, and that it’s ok to indulge from time to time, but I’ve also learned that sometimes even a little bit of a treat can lead to a lot for me, and that it’s tempting to lose control and go big on the unhealthy things that sabotage my overall wellness… I am even aware that chocolate can be a migraine headache trigger for me, but that hasn’t stopped me from over-indulging on many occasions in the past!

You may have seen this picture before, but I just think it's too pretty (and too appropriate) not to share again:

These truths, and my overarching lack of control, were what led me to understand that my obsession with treats had become a habit, which is what I would consider to be a step above just “liking something a lot” and moving into problematic territory.

I’ve read and heard a million times, as I’m sure you have, that it takes 21 days to break a habit. I don’t know about you, but I’m a little skeptical about this - it seems to me like the idea that just abstaining from a certain behavior for 21 measly days renders it no longer desirable seems rather optimistic, in my opinion. 21 days does sound pretty manageable, which is great - but I would encourage you to think of it as a minimum amount of time during which to make progress, rather than some kind of hard and fast absolute.

When I was trying to break my sugar habit, I was sure that once I’d left it behind for 21 days that I wouldn’t even consider that leftover brownie, or the ice cream in the freezer, or the coconut cake on the menu, and that I’d be free from the nagging desire for things I knew weren’t healthy for me.

So what happened after the 21 days everyone talks about? I still craved sugar. Definitely. It had gotten easier, sure - I didn’t think about it as often, but chocolate still looked delicious and a donut still seemed like a good idea. I was better equipped to resist, but I was by no means craving-free!

I’ll be honest when I say that this made me SUPER SAD. I thought I would be totally done with sugar after having tried really hard (and I mean it was really, really hard for me haha) to let it go for 21 days. I felt so cheated, and like such a failure!

But despite all this, I didn’t give up. I started reading online and talking with people who I knew had overcome difficult habits (many more difficult than deciding not to eat brownies), and they assured me that this was normal, and even actually common - so I wasn’t really such a failure after all, just dealing with the same shit everyone deals with when they try to break a habit and replace it with a better, healthier one.

Instead of choosing a huge chocolate chip cookie after dinner, even if I wanted to, I kept picking the healthier options and turning to a low-sugar protein bar, some greek yogurt and berries, some apple slices and almond butter… I still got my sweet fix, but my “treats” didn’t destroy the healthy balance of my whole day anymore.

Over time, and for me it was quite a bit more time, the urge for the more traditional treats I once had so much trouble resisting continued to wane. I still think about treats, yes - but I’m just as happy with the healthy treats I’ve come to love, and if I REALLY want a little bit of a brownie or something, it takes a lot less to satisfy me and I can move on.

I guess what I’m really trying to say here is that it takes a long ass time to break patterns and have new ones take their place, and not to be hard on yourself if you’re not completely adapted to you new chosen behavior or way of life as quickly as you wish you were.

I see my clients beat themselves up all the time over mistakes and regression when it comes to the lifestyle changes they want to make - yes, it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and perseverance, but progress isn’t always linear. It’s often WEEKS of close collaboration and consultation with clients before their new habits start to take hold, and even then there are times when things don’t go quite the way we want them to.

So I want to be the first to tell you that you’re not weak, or weird, or behind the curve if you haven’t completely forgotten and moved on from your old ways by the end of the 21 days. Give yourself as much time as it takes, knowing that every time you make the right choice, making that same choice again becomes that much easier and more natural.

It’s not about how fast you get there, it’s just about getting there.

I’m not encouraging anyone to sit back and chill along the way though, because I also believe that if you know you have something going on in your life that’s compromising your health, getting rid of that as fast as possible is always preferable - I’m just saying that it takes time, and that always continuing to strive for making progress, rather than achieving perfection, is a more sustainable approach.

Everyone is different, so take as much time as you need and try to make every choice, and every day, better than the last.

I still love a good piece of cake, an ice cream sundae, or a warm, soft cookie at least as much as the next person - I’m just finally at a place where I am in control, and my “treat addiction” isn’t in control of me. It’s a pretty healthy place to be, and you can get there too if you haven’t already arrived!

Have you ever had a habit that’s been tough to break? Have you overcome it or are you still working on it? I’d love to know - I think sharing our strategies and supporting each other is always worth it!

Need some help? Reach out to me!

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