well you got attention you seemed to desperately want and need. please tell me now what do you wish to gain from all this? are you trying to kill off your steemit account? you already claim to having left google according to your website which you seem to be neglecting as well. are you going through rough times and need a friend but afraid to ask? its ok to ask for help and support you know. its not ok to act the way you are though. feel free to talk to me if you need help. im a certified medical specialist and ex army combat medic. i have lots of training in dealing with issues you seem to be experiencing.