Boobalicious

Ladies, can I ask you something?  How much cleavage is actually necessary at the gym?  I mean, really.  I understand if you are feeling super fine.  You have your little matchy matchy spandex pants and tank top on.  You've recently stepped out of the tanning bed and you have applied your make-up perfectly....to go to the gym.  But  my friends, (and I'm not talking directly to you but to the ladies who roam my health club in this fashion) I'm pretty sure you have pulled your tank top down as far as it can possibly go and/or pushed your breasts up as high as they can go.  I simply can't imagine this is conducive to a good workout.  

For starters, it appears as though your sports bra might be cutting off the circulation to your chest.  I'm not sure you can adequately work your pecs or your arms or your back at all when the muscles are not getting significant oxygen.  Furthermore, I'm fairly certain those melons under your chin would interfere with many of the standard "exercises" one might want to perform.  For instance, I fear for your life on the treadmill.  I think perhaps upon the first bounce those suckers would hit you square in the chin and knock you out like Mike Tyson.  I'm quite certain that lateral pulls, rows, or anything involving a bar grazing that general area are out of the question.  I mean, you could do it, halfway before the bar either 

a) bounces off, or 

b) gets stuck in, your cleavage.  

If you are attending a class, I believe your fellow classmates will find your numerous nip slips to be rather distracting.  As a certified yoga instructor, I would recommend you tuck those puppies in before attempting your downward dog to avoid suffocation.  I might also add that your tendency to cause boners for the male attendees of my class might disrupt our zen.

Don't get me wrong.  I appreciate a nice rack.  I used to have one.  And you may think I'm just bitter and maybe I am.  Regardless, I've never been one to flaunt my tatas, but had I paid a great amount for them, maybe I would.  I just happen to be more of a t-shirt or tank top and shorts kind of gym rat, rather than spandex and barely there tops.  Call me crazy.

I really just wonder if this is a goal you are working toward when you get ready for the gym.  Do you  push and pull at them until they are spilling over your top?  Is this somehow advantageous to your workout?  Am I missing a new calorie burning secret?  I am glad you are proud of your body.  I appreciate that you work hard toward your toned state. (Well, some of you are still working..)  But could you please kindly just tuck your boobs in just a little before I mistakenly grab one for a medicine ball?  Thanks in advance.