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RE: 16 days of literature: Particle Ghost

in #finishthestory6 years ago (edited)

I think the FTS ending is a real pièce de résistance!

I am amazed by the poetic form that you gave to an ending that is really very close to the sense that I had imagined for this story (even if the proximity to "my" final does not mean anything for the purpose of the contest, indeed, maybe I should not even mention it) .
The versification flows fluently and vividly, letting the sense of spiritual reflections and hesitations of Mr. Renhe Ren, almost like a Hamlet in Chinese sauce, have to find himself and his own determination not to be influenced by a "ghost" that he he himself created and who haunts his mind.

if I can dare a small pedantry, I believe that your poetry, although written according to the formal criteria of a chain of haiku, is however to be considered fully "European" in content, and in this I dissociate from @f3nix when talking about renga, which is a form of collaborative poetry that is based on completely different thematic assumptions (maybe we could try it, sooner or later).

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Uw-peckin'-wU ~ Thanks for reading and thanks for the compliments! Now I want to see a @marcoriccardi ending to this to see how much I missed off yer trajectory while tickling yer fancies. Of course I wanted to cloak myself in the methodology of Haikus but then let that method consume itself as I ran into the dialectic of Mr. Renhe (Renshi in my mind for some reason) Ren and the floodgate of Eastern-Western philosophies. I had fun testing the waters (okay blame the river) and seeing where it would go, letting the Objects of the story guide the Subject of Mr. Renshi (there I go again when it's Renhe) while at the same time blurring them with Mr. Renhe's human confrontation with them (like Hegel conceeding to the power of Objects in the Phenomenology or Science of Logic!).

Of course I only make that side snark (not remark) as they are often blurred with no fast and steady lines under Skeptical or Dialectical investigation. And both tend to, regardless, bound our limits of perception even when we stand on the shoulders of giants. Regardless, I would like to see a serious, non-Westernized/Europeanized, renga committed on the dance floor of Steemit after the first QITR has been accomplished.

Thanks once again for the compliments!~
Anime Spooky.gif

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