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RE: La Sentinelle- My Entry for finishthestory

in #finishthestory5 years ago

You really get into the meat of the action, and i am so impressed in how you have dived in and picked up the baton, addressing all of the conflict created at the end of the first half in gripping detail, you tie this all up, as perfectly as the wood strapped to his bobbing body.

I really enjoy the way you build on the dynamic between La Sentinelle and Hugo, the hint of sentience, of a guiding hand at work that saves him, or equally could just be coincidence, and then giving it a history, and a reason for it's name, in three small graves. His escape feels plausible, between the description and high diver reference, it does feel like that might just work. His grit and determination to survive really feels like the same person in the first half, you carry the character so well. The bit about the switch for the lights being on the top floor, a thing he cursed now saving him, ah, you always have the small details that really make it. A pleasure to read <3

#sbi-skip

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The superb beginning helped immensely. My heartfelt thanks @calluna

It is a superb opening for sure, @brisby did an amazing job setting the scene, the beautiful use of language, the way she builds the tension, the storm rising along side the slow drip of back story up to this diving point of a crux (which you actually used as a diving point haha) but I have read enough of your stories to know you could spin brittle hay into golden silk <3

#sbi-skip

Thank you for the sweet compliments, Cal, and I agree 100% with you. Sarez has such an incredible talent and every story he shares is one not to be missed.

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