RE: My end for Finish The Story Contest - Week #52
We're grateful to you for your perseverance in writing your story despite the chaos of where you live. Hugs to you and we're so happy to know that you're having fun! It's a wonderful compliment that you've paid us as we want everyone in the @Bananafish tribe to embrace the joys of the weekly challenges. 🤗
I feel under the influence of chemical augmentation as I read your story. All pieces connected with the wormhole, the yellow teeth of the cheshire cat, that helium sucking clown and those pointy eyes shining. You took so many of the details from the beginning and spun them far from anything expected.
I like that you take us back to the studio, to see what's happening while Kurt is busy being drugged by Machete. Masha's face melting was a lovely bit of horror and had me wondering what was really going on. You up the ante in telling us that she's stuck in an infinite loop with the agnostic just like the advertisements. Then the cut to the Doc putting away his precious ukulele with such tender care was a great contrast to his treatment of the passed out Kurt.
Doc's high speed trek in Kurt's convertible as he smiles at the cat, being told this is a tradition since he's a young boy makes me wonder how many similar 'decisions' he's made. Love that you included Maria as she's listening to the radio only to deal with the mess by the Cheshire cat. That feline with the ability to travel where it pleases.
Then your ending, with Dr. Machete in the studio laughing like the helium clown? You succeeded with giving me shivers, well done!
I will confess to some confusion in a few parts, perhaps due to a translation difference.
Dr.Machete launches the cell-phone in the rubber well.
Does this mean he throws it into the rubber spot where Masha's head used to be? If so, was this where the photo of Kurt from the beginning came from?
You gave us one crazy and wild experience here, Adncabrera!
~Bris
Thank you for reading it, @bananafish.
Regarding the cell phone: that's right, the photo came from there. Dr. Machete throws it into the rubber well which is Masha being absorbed by the wormhole. That's where the photo comes from.
I struggle to improve my writing in English and I don't always manage to express myself well.
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I liked very much to continue the text. Since I read it the first time, I was fascinated with the strange and absurd situation that arose. It's the type of text that offers room for madness. The challenge there, for me, was to preserve the logic of actions and the plot in a universe with a leaky space of time.
@f3nix managed to build a really uninhibited writing foot, with a strident and very seductive imaginative force. There I felt a writer advancing on the ground probing the limits of his own fiction and I enjoyed it very much.
My respects to @f3nix and a big hug to the whole team for this experience.
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P.S. I think a lot of people had fun here!