Why the Fuck Should I Watch: BATMAN (1989)?

Why the fuck should you watch “Batman”?
• 1980s nostalgia is in fashion, so why watch relaunches/reboots/sequels/prequels when you can go straight to the source.
• Because before every date you boost yourself up by saying in the mirror “I’m batman”. And then try to do the disappearing thing.
• You have had enough of this "your mommas name is Martha, my mommas name is Martha, let's be friends" bullshit.
• Because Michael Keaton has the best "serious batsuit-on face".
• You want to remind yourself that once upon a time there was a DC movie, that was great.

Before DCEU made Batman some bulky idiot, before Nolan redefined comic book movies as a genre with Dark Knight trilogy, there was Tim Burton's "Batman". The blockbuster hit came out deep in the age of annoyingly catchy dance music, mullets, perms, Ray-Bans and headbands, when apparently the blockbuster hungry (btw 1980s was the decade that gave us two Star Wars films, Indiana Jones, Back to the Future, Top Gun, The Breakfast Club, fuck this list could go on forever just click here instead https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980s#Film) kidz put their oldschool consoles down and rushed to the cinemas to see MICHEAL KEATON as Batman and JACK NICHOLSON as Joker. Doesn't that sound awesome already?

When I reached the age of massive movie exposure, the "Batman" was already on TV regularly. I remember freaking out a bit because of the darkish tone, and freakish and ruthless Joker with his spooky makeup. The revisit now, after the weird and facepalm provoking contemporary extended universe shit, reminded that all you need for a good superhero movie is good world building and atmosphere + adequate performances. 2 hours and 30 minutes of massive CGI actions scenes with boring exposition can't substitute these. With "Batman" Keaton and Nicholson give awesome performances, while the characters are far more interesting and layered than these uneven and undeveloped of today.

"Batman" features everything that you might expect from a Batman movie (death of Batman's parents, Batman beating up petty criminals, fancy party, batcave, batmobile, batman technology, and clearly an uncomfortable suit that looks cool). Although the story isn’t that gripping or well structured, the dark and atmospheric production design and world building is awesome enough to take a little tour to the past of Batman. Oh, wait, the recent announcement about the next Batman movie hinted that we will start this thing all over again anyway.

Why the fuck you shouldn’t watch “Batman”?
• WTF why these effects look so old and fakeish???
• 1980s aesthetics make you giggle so much that you can’t concentrate on the plot.
• You’re the guy who thinks: Batman should just kill Joker and everything would be nice.
• You like those bat-nipples from the movie “Batman & Robin” (1998).