I had two breakdowns and went trough very complex process while making this film. It lasted for two whole years. Even now, I can't believe what all happened to me then.

One day my mentor gave me a book named Mud from Niccolo Ammaniti. It was novels written in very heavy and kinda psycho manner. He said make a movie out of this, pick one story, but be aware this is not an easy task. He often liked to challenge and push me beyond all of my limits. He was genius who I loved to listen with my fullest attention. And I was little genius who he adored to explore. We were like family and soulmates same time loving to explore each others.

The Absurd of beginning and the end

That year I have written with him 44 versions of same scenario. No madman could do it! It is complete crazyness. And he pushed me for that. We were both ultimate perfectionist and that's why it turned into fucking 44 versions and variations! At one point I lost the count. It lasted intensively the whole year. AT one point I was mad at him, so I brought him the very first version, the magnificent number one after all those 44. And he victoriously shouted THIS IS IT! BRAVO! I couldn't believe my ears. all this path to return to first version. At that point I didn't know who is more crazier, me or him. I cracked. Had my very first huge break down and ended up in hospital. My mother told me he cried like a baby, that it is all his fault. I didn't blame him, not for a single moment. We were the same. Took me six months to recover and gain my full strength. But finally, first step was done. Scenario was finally written. Ave!

In short

It was a play of hidden associations in which Maria, for a trauma pushed back of her mind, is being more and more lost in time and space, falling into a conflict between her inner and outer egocentrism.   

Step 2 - production

At this point, both of us, mentor and I, kept bit distance with ease. We knew we need bit space between us. Even today I can't say who was more ambitious with making this movie, me or him. We both knew it was my final academic movie, so we needed to launch me good into non merciful industry as an author.

At this phase I was producer. I worked to gather some money to make this happen, and my family helped me a lot with finances. I was going around in my suit on meetings in various companies asking for sponsorships. But no one was interested at that point to finance some art or movie. At that point there was no guilds or any support for that. So it wasn't easy. All I got was drinks for the crew, hehhe. At least something. It was some crazy orange carbonated drinks which we all drunk to much. I messed up my digestion heavily on the shooting.

Everything else was easy, in term of production, I got all licences for shooting instantly, and keys to enter forbidden parts of city with vans and so on. I was good, proficient and it made me feel important, like I grew up over night. I was kicking this part.
YAY!

Made all the plans and charts for productions, got camera, casting and crew. Everything was just perfect! I spread my vast enthusiasm onto everyone with such ease. They were all excited about the shooting and we were some kick ass crew. I was the happiest person ever ready to enter shooting (which I love the most, or maybe postproduction, not sure).

The shooting

For now, I will just post the sum of pictures, because there is so much stories in this phase I would like to share and that will be in some other post. Just it was unbelievable how I survived this phase. I was working 20 hrs per day. I wasn't sleeping and I had stomach flu even during the shooting! So I wasn't allowed to eat or drink even after few days. Luckily I had assistant who was boiling me water all the time. That was my only intake. But the love and faith in making this film was stronger, I got some super power will from out of who knows where to finish this. But every morning I would eat a spoon of pollen so I could fly like a bee trough day. So I did! :)

Step 3 - postproduction

I had all BETA tapes in my pocket full of material. I was satisfied, the shooting was good. We had great time. Now it is time to edit the movie. My mentor arranged me his studio in other city so I travelled there to capture the material. By mistake he put the sound capture to 22 Hz. I didn't notice that. There were a lot of buttons there, you know :D
I came home and I was editing the movie for two months. Sound and picture. Then I went to Slovenia to direct and master sound in details with pro sound engineer and BOOM! Huston we have a problem! We need at least sound to be 44 Hz.
I thought ok let's batch capture the material, but aaaaargh were I dissapointed after it wasn't possible because it wasn't digi format. Argh. So I had to edit the movie as it was in exact matched frames for the second time, while he was mastering. Can you imagine that pain? If anything I don't like doing anything for the second time, especially the same, especially after such stupid mistake. But there was no alternative, so I did it.
The most interesting thing, which I never done before was directing sound with pro technician in studio. God knows how I loved that, especially because we were on the same wave length so he understood me everything. After that we lived 8 years together as we fallen in love deeply. Until one day he confessed me he don't want children. Then I said ok, I understand, but next morning please go.

Step 4 - Release

I was satisfied with the movie, so I traveled from Slovenia 5 minutes before my master degree term. I was perfecting the sound till the last minute. I remember napping on a train station with silver suitcase studio tied to my arm! I got there and everyone were amused with film. Got highest rank. I was happy and calm and fulfilled same time. Festivals on the other hand did not go well. I heard juries were fascinated by the movie, some shown to their students on other film academies, one producent kept it in his suitcase, but they all motherfucker kicked me out of competition from our main festival. Then one day representatives and producers called me they want to present my movie in Cannes as croatian cinematography but I was mad about everything that happened, about corruption and all so I clearly said: Not a fucking chance! You kicked me out from croatian festivals, now deal with it. Mum told me I was nutcase for saying that, and I believe she was right as always, but I have my own honour.

Resume & Threats

Meeting the jaws of the film industry wasn't easy. It ruined my spirit quite. I was kinda dissapointed I even made this movie, for who...?
Even more then this, one guy was waiting me behind the corner of my home, dressed in fine suit with sunglasses to threatened me not to show my movie to anyone, that pigs do not deserve the pearls. If I do, I'll end up like Kubrick. He offered me to join his society and share my knowledge or to forget everything I know. I was wtf? I said mister, I don't know, all I know is I just want to make family and that's it. That pissed him off.

I made my master degree film with all the love, all the effort and devotion and willingness and some dared to invade or destroy me for that. Not letting me be, or even worser devastating my hard work. I got torn and second break down occured.

Later on he made mistake and came into my new working office, obviously surprised that I'm working there. I found out his name and where he works. He was red of anger, but I wasn't surprised as I know that some higher force prefers me. He asked me if I remember what he told me months ago, and I said Yes. Then he tried strong to look like a good guy. He had a strong jaw and was tall. Anyhow.. dissapointed as I was, in the end I admitted defeat. Received many invitations for many festivals but I sent film to none. Only in France, Clermont Ferrand.
Those sharks wounded me well. I saved my film into drawer, where it stayed for 9 years. I was painting and working in privacy and comfort of my loving home, wrote few screenplays, not inter messing with fishtanks.

As you see, it was not easy to make film in Croatia in 2006-2009

NOW

I really feel positive to share with you, not just my story but the whole movie. So here it is,..

Will post about MAKING OFF soon. Stay tunned and have a lovely day!

yours Omi