Movie Stakeout Reviews 17/04/20-23/04/20

We might all be in lockdown but the wheels of movie justice keep on rolling. So here's all the latest Movieland investigations from detectives Dick japowski and Joey Arizona. Let's catch us some perps!!

Dick Japowski's Ape-ril Ape-stravaganza
Queen Kong (1976)
A strong female director and her crew of bra wearing ladies drag unwitting ninny, Robin Askwith to an island where Kong is queen. She also falls for whatever Askwith's putting out there and is soon terrorising London. I've never seen any of the confessions of a... Movie series but this felt like one as I was watching and a quick Google confirmed Robin Askwith was the star of those! I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a few chuckles from this and your dad and his dad would love this. Just be warned there really are a lot of bras on display!
First watch: 2 Bananas

The Ape-rizona Case Files
MVP2: Most Vertical Primate (2001)
Jack gets drafted to the Seattle Simians, and after a few teething problems the team make it to the finals. But when some underhanded tactics from another team leave Jack's position in question he runs away. Jack is then befriended by a skateboarding orphan with dreams of the big time. The future Tony Hawk teaches jack to skate while also avoiding Child Services and the police.
Before I watched the first movie I was very apprehensive about this franchise, but they've actually been a pleasant surprise, they're by no means good, but they are fun.
The highlight though has to be Al from Home Improvement as a friendly skate shop owner named Ollie Plant, a great joke probably missed by the target audience.
First watch: 2.5 Doughnuts

The Arizona Case Files
Playmobil: The Movie (2019)
A young girl who dreams of adventure abandons her ambitions when she his forced to become her brothers guardian. Years later she's all business and no fun...if only there was a magical portal that could transport her to a world of make-believe where she can rediscover herself. Hold my Playmobil.
An amusing adventure, which had it been made pre-Lego Movie would have been rated higher by critics, and recieved better by audiences. Unfortunately it wasn't, and fails to be as creative, humourous or dynamic as that other giant advert.
It did however keep little Arizona engaged for about 80% of the runtime, whereas The Lego Batman Movie only achieved about 20%.
First watch: 2.5 Plastic Doughnuts

Edit: Since posting this review Little Arizona has watched this for a second time.

The Many Views of Detective Dick Japowski
Boy (2010)
A coming of age story about a young New Zealand boy who longs for a father to guide him, but when his own dad returns, it may not be the influence he needs.
Taika Waititi's follow up to Eagle vs Shark is equal parts hilarious and heartbreaking, with Taika himself playing the unhinged dad who has a love for E.T and Michael Jackson!
A film you won't regret watching. Available on Amazon Prime.
First watch: 4.5 Doughnuts

The Arizona Case Files
The Final Cut (2004)
In a near future world people have implants that record their every moment, and people play a highlight reel at your funeral. Robin Williams plays a cutter, an individual who edit theses memory recordings, but is having trouble with his own recollections.
Great concept, great performance by Williams, average movie, ridiculous beard by Jim Caviezel. Probably the inspiration for the Black Mirror episode The Entire History of You.
First watch: 2.5 Doughnuts

Dick Japowski's Ape-ril Ape-stravaganza
Mighty Peking Man a.k.a. Goliothon (1977)
An expedition to bring back a mega monkey man, leads our intrepid adventurers into elephants, tigers, jaguars, cliff climbing and most hilariously quicksand! This is just a Hong Kong King Kong, but there are some fun effects and fun to be had.
First watch: 3 Bananas

The Ape-rizona Case Files
War for The Planet of the Apes (2017)
Following Koba's betrayal in the previous installment Caesar and apes are at war, but while the tree-swinging savages look for peaceful solutions mankind, as ever, insist they're the planet's rightful heirs.
Disclaimer: I love the Planet of the Apes franchise, as a little detective the TV series was a staple of our Sunday afternoons, I love the old movies, and I love ths new ones, I even appreciate the Tim Burton remake...so quite why it took me this long to watch the latest installment I don't know, I've had it on Blu-ray for over a year.
It's a very different beast to the last two efforts, a Conan-esque cross country quest for revenge, followed by a hybrid of The Great Escape and Apocalypse Now, but with added poop-flinging.
First watch: 4 Doughnuts

Have you witnessed any of the movies we've investigated? What movies have you had under surveillance recently? Let us know in the comments below.