It's Game Over for Movie Stakeout!!
July saw the Movieland detectives delve into the often murky world of the videogame movie. Here are the cases that went down.
The Arizona Game Files
The Wizard (1989)
To prevent near-mute Jimmy from being placed in a home, his brother decides the need to run away. While on the road to California, the only word Jimmy utters, they discover Jimmy has a natural at videogames. With the aid of another child nomad Corey takes his brother to the Video Armageddon, a gaming tournament with a $50,000 prize (the equivalent of $103,384.68 today).
The Wizard was criticised back in the day for being full of product placement, a giant for Nintendo, but it's also a great family friendly road movie, and a must-see for anyone who loves 'retro' gaming.
Rewatch: 3.5 Doughnuts
Japowski's Game, Boy!
Double Dragon (1994)
San Angeles 2007. After the quakes. At night the gangs rule the streets. Billy and Jimmy Lee are fighter brothers who have to protect their half of a mystical medallion from a flat topped Robert Patrick.
I'm going to say it, I may have found the best videogame adaptation!
Party of Five's Scott Wolf brings the party in a film that feels like the ultimate 80's jam! The surprise watch of the year!
First watch. 3.5 out of 5 bits
The Arizona Game Files
Joysticks (1983)
How to make a generic 80's sex comedy, add..
• One charming ladies man
• One fat slob with hidden skills
• One by-the-book nerd
• One angry businessman/authority figure determined to put an end to general shenanigans.
• A contained location where most of shenanigans can take place. (In this case an arcade)
• Plenty of boobs.
First watch: 1.5 Pixelated doughnuts.
The Arizona Game Files
Mortal Kombat (1995)
Every generation a tournament is held by a powerful sorcerer, pitting Earth's greatest fighters against his minions. If he wins ten tournaments in a row he'll be able to invade our world, and he's already won nine.
The very first moment of the film gets you hyped up for what's about to take place, a voice shouting 'Mortal Kombat' before some 90's Techno starts blasting out. While it's not viewed in the most positive light, this is the best Mortal Kombat we could have recieved in 1995. In 2020 the effects are almost as ropey as the acting though, the CGI looks terrible by today's standards and the animatronic Goro looks like something from Roger and the Rotten Trolls.
Rewatch: 2.5 Doughnuts
The Arizona Game Files
Star Fox Zero: The Battle Begins (2016)
Fox McCloud and his team of pilots must stop Andross' forces from reaching their target, General Pepper, the one responsible for Andross' exile.
Essentially this is the set-up and first level of the Wii U game Star Fox Zero turned into an anime short. All the elements any fan could wish for are there, and all in just 15 minutes. Not really a fan of McCloud's character design, but then you can't have everything.
First watch: 3 Doughnuts
The Arizona Game Files
Rampage (2018)
The Rock works with apes at the San Diego Zoo, and one day his favourite ape, an albino gorilla named George, is exposed to a pathogen that increases his size, strength and rage, and George isn't the only one. A trio of super beasts head for Chicago, and proceed to smash the place up.
This movie was a lot of fun, it got a lot of negative reviews calling it dumb and shallow, but it's based on a game about monsters smashing up buildings, what more were they expecting?
First watch: 3.5 Doughnuts
The Arizona Game Files
Tron (1982)
A maverick programmer tries to get evidence his games were stolen by Encom's current Executive VP, but finds himself transport into the company mainframe and a bizarre digital world.
A brilliant concept hatched in a world where computers were still new and people had no idea how they worked. Groundbreaking effects, and a visual style unlike anything before or since...but damn it's dull.
Rewatch: 2 Doughnuts
Japowski's Game, Boy!
The King of Arcades (2014)
It's fair to say Richie Knucklez enjoyed the arcade in his youth. Setting records on many a cabinet but specifically Space invaders.
This documentary tells his story of being a fan man with a single arcade cabinet, to realising his dream of owning one of the biggest retro arcades in America.
This film is interesting in showing the difference between business savvy and running your arcade like a party house from an 80s movie and why you can't have it both ways.
Familiar faces such as Walter Day and King of Kong's Billy Mitchell pop up along the way and you get to see Richie's arcade themed punk band Knuckle Sandwich try to make Frogger seem tough!
First watch: 3 out of 5 bits
The Arizona Game Files
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
Gun-toting archaeologist Lara Croft gets caught up with the illuminati searching for a relic that can not only control, but is also linked to her deceased father.
Ridiculous nineties action movie, with some great set pieces, and the dynamic between Croft, her Butler, and her in-house tech expert makes is enough to make you interested in a potential sequel....and low and behold one materialised.
This was one of those movies I'd seen several times back in the day, but had forgotten almost entirely, bar the fact Red Dwarf's Chris Barrie plays crofts butler.
Rewatch: 3 Doughnuts
The Arizona Game Files
Ratchet & Clank (2016)
A talented but over enthusiastic mechanic dreams of becoming a space ranger, and when a robot falls from the sky warning of impending doom he might just get his chance.
It's unclear quite why Ratchet & Clank fails to hit the sweet spot, a kid friendly adventure based on a humorous gaming franchise, co-directed by the man behind TMNT (2007), with a voice cast that includes John Goodman, Sylvester Stallone, Rosario Dawson, and Paul Giamatti. Proof that even if you have the right ingredients it's all about the mix.
Rewatch: 2 Doughnuts
Japowski's Game, Boy!
Arcade (1993)
A group of teens visualise their virtual hell (as do the viewer) when they get sucked into the latest virtual reality arcade game called, Arcade.
I'm late waking up this morning having stayed up to suffer the early nineties depiction of a virtual landscape which involved big shapes coming at you! "Virtually" everything about this is bad, and the fact that I did rent this back in the day and didn't warn my future self, meaning I've seen this twice in my Lifetime just upsets me!
Don't waste your quarter on this one.
Rewatch. 0.5 out of 5 bits
The Arizona Game Files
Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020)
Pretty much the same plot as the 1995 movie, fighting tournament to decide the fate of the realm, but this time as well as following Earth saviors Lui Kang, Sonya Blade and Johnny Cage, it focuses heavily on Scorpion's backstory, which was always the most interesting in the game.
Ridiculously bloody, just as nature intended, with plenty of references to the games, with every character getting in their signature moves. The art style didn't always do it for me, and Joel McHale's cage gets a touch annoying, but it's a pretty solid effort.
First watch: 3.5 Doughnuts
The Arizona Game Files
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
A hedgehog from another world finds himself on Earth, hiding out so nobody can claim his powers for their own. Enter a super intelligent government agent hellbent on locating him, and a small town cop determined to protect him.
Not gonna lie, I really enjoyed this, it's a lot of fun, and I chuckled away several times to the on screen antics. I also think this is possibly one of Jim Carrey's best performances, playing the rather unlikable Dr Robotnik with relish.
First watch: 4 Doughnuts
Japowski's Game, Boy!
Street Fighter (1994)
Maniacal dictator Matthew Bison has all the hostages and if he doesn't get his 20 billion dollars it's game over for them. Enter Guile Van Damme to recruit his playlist of favourite characters to thwart this turkey.
This movie will always be associated with me as the time I tried to smuggle a 2ltr bottle of lemonade into the cinema but got caught and almost missed the bus home!
That's the most memorable moments for me of this movie.
Luckily my cousin made it in with his large bottle of fizz and had straws so I would take suspicious sucks from between his legs when thirsty!
Raul Julia is fun as Bison but yeah the movie was disappointing for a 13 year old and a slog for this old dog to. I wash my hands of this Buffalo!
Rewatch:1 out of 5 bits
Which of these videogame investigations have you seen? What's your favourite videogame movie? Let us know in the comments below.