Steemit Challenge S26-w6 : Two-Timing

in #fiction-s26wk6yesterday

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem

Assalamualaikum Everyone.
This is @sohag10 from #Bangladesh.

John was going to his office in the public bus like every day. The seat next to the one he was sitting in was empty. Suddenly a girl named Tina sat in the seat next to him with a smile. John smiled and asked her to sit next to him. At first they had some conversation through eye contact. They did not know each other through video but they were going to their destination together in the public bus like they were.

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They talked for some time between work. They smiled and they talked a lot during the whole journey and they got to know each other. It was time for them to get off the bus.

Suddenly Tina smiled at him and gave John her card. She said that we must talk later. John was very happy and of course.

Why did Tina give John a card is the question of all of us and how is it possible to love or be loved in one day. Of course not, it was a mistake in John's eyes and he could not control himself.

In the afternoon, John sent Tina an SMS and now we have some conversation between work. They are enjoying themselves and think we are doing very well.

They talked like they did and fixed a day and they made preparations to meet them again. On the fixed day, John met Tina and they were very happy.

They ordered some food. Some beautiful moments of the afternoon and ate some food. They said goodbye to each other and went home.

They talked like this for a few days.

Suddenly John remembered that I am walking in the wrong direction. Doing the work myself cannot be a normal thing. Because John's wife is waiting for him at home.

John started thinking to himself why he took her card and texted her. If he had not done these things, he would never have had to get into such confusion. The delusion of life begins from here and from here a different confusing story of our life is created.

John started thinking to himself that I am not doing the right thing. He was sorry for that and after some time he called his wife and said:

I miss you very much. Then she replied that I you very much too. John's mind came to a little peace.

Suddenly one day he went to the coffee house and met Tina. Tina was sitting alone. John smiled and wanted to say something. But he had learned the real lesson because of which he did not make this mistake a second time.

He quickly left there and got busy with his work. When he came home in the afternoon and saw that card, he thought that I will throw this card away. John immediately threw the card in the dustbin.

John called his wife and said that I love you very much. He wanted to tell me something but he could not tell me that incident at that time. Later John said that I will meet you soon and tell you about this incident.

I am inviting @mahmud552 @abdulmomin @memamun participate in the competition.

God is Hafez.

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Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-6: Two-timing

Dear @sohag10, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.4/5Satisfactory
Originality & Uniqueness2.8/3Good
Presentation0.9/1Good
My observation0.9/1You often summarized events instead of showing actual conversations.
Total9/10

Feedback

  • I could see the lesson you wanted to highlight, and that gave your story a meaningful touch. At the same time, you diverged from the original Sydney–Canberra background and summarized too much instead of showing through conversations, which made the story feel rushed.

Moderated by: @waqarahmadshah

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