Old Dog, New Tricks (Kinda sorta Chapter 4)

in #fiction9 years ago (edited)

Still reeling slightly from the surprise that his captor was the son of Devilsbluff's lord, Tom considered his response. He would have to weigh his words carefully because Johan was an unknown factor. But while this was an unexpected surprise, it was not necessarily an unwelcome one. He needed to know the lay of the land and he could get that from the son as much as from some low level slaver.



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“As I told you earlier, I’m here to petition your father. If the realm is to survive we will need his strength. You’re aware, of course, that Basra Lifcursk has taken charge of Seagate. His father, Black Caldy is on his way there as we speak." If they had known Tom was on his way to Devilsbluff, they must know at least this much. But how recent was Johan's information? "By now Caldy may already have arrived; who knows what has happened in my absence? Prince Joren has been accused of his father’s murder--”

Johan scoffed. “This you have already said, though I have yet to verify your story. The prince has never been popular, more interested in books than sparring with his guards and leading the hunt. But while his father may have wished for a different breed of son, everyone knew how close they were after the death of Her Majesty, the prince’s royal mother. You waste my time, old man. I have no need to hear more Lifcursk lies, especially not from your tongue.”

“The realm is crippled--”

“The realm was crippled when they forced my father out. It has been a three-legged dog ever since.” Johan’s face was flushed with crimson streaks. “They are now reaping what they sowed.

“Take a look around, old man. What do you see? Tanxi’s western host is forcing the Chulle and Abodi from their ancestral lands. Even now they raid our borders. I have word they are joining to form a combined war party. This is an unprecedented collaboration between ancient foes. And why would that be? Because Severnhelm strangled the slave trade. Because the fool couldn’t negotiate a business deal to save his life. Because he refused to treat with the Tanxi more times than I care to remember, ignoring all our petitions. My father pleaded--pleaded-- but as always Severnhelm allowed his Privy Council to sway him. The man was an ass with a crown in place of a nose ring. And for that our people will suffer. Not that I believe a word of it, but if the son had done this bloody murder, I'd say he's done us a favor.”

“Winter comes. The passes will close,” Tom said. He sounded calm, but it was by force of will alone. Inside he raged. By what right did this snot of a child defile King Severnhelm’s good name?

Yet the passes would close, barring the border from all but the most foolhardy, and the Chulle were anything but foolhardy. There was no way to take an army through the ranges, let alone mount an attack on horseback as was their manner. He’d experienced Chulle raids himself on more than one occasion while manning the accursed, lichen-coated tower at Jorgan Falls. Winter always put a stop to them.



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“My advisors tell me the winter will be severe,” Johan said. “It is already snowing in the highlands, a month early. The passes will close, but when they open again in the spring, the Tanxi will press the Chulle and Abodi once more. Who will stand against them then? Tell me why I or my father should care one whit about Black Lifcursk and his poxy son? If what you say is true, the realm has fallen. It may be that it is time for Devilsbluff to rule itself in name as well as fact.”

Rage ripped through the bubble of calm Tom had carefully constructed, then tended the whole while Johan had been speaking, but he could take it no more. The fool was so wrapped up with local matters he failed to understand that Devilsbluff could not stand alone. The kingdom had enemies, and it was only King Severnhelm’s strength and willingness to fight to the end that held them back. He felt his rage rise again, and clenched his jaw, clamping down on it. Then he gave up the battle.

Pushing his chair back, he rose to his feet. “Enough of this. Where is your father?”

One of Johan’s men grabbed him from behind, throwing a forearm around his neck and trying to restrain his arm at the same time. Instinct took hold. Tom dropped through his knees, bringing the guard’s arm with him so that the man flipped over his shoulder, landing on his back on the table. Dust and a few small chips of twisted timber flew. Then more men came running, but Tom held up his hand before they could get close. He was panting, but more from the rush of adrenaline than the exertion. “Your father? I will speak to him of what must be said and to none other.”

To his surprise, Johan laughed. The guards looked at him quizzically, but did not press their attack. “So there is some fight in the old dog yet. You seemed so wretched sorry for yourself with your wound, I thought perhaps he’d misjudged you.”

Tom glowered. What he loathed more than young men who did not know their place, were cockless prats who spoke in riddles. “Speak your mind while my patience holds. Your father might have treated you with kid gloves, but you’re not too old or too big to fit across my knee.”

Johan continued to chuckle. “Lovely. Come, I’ll take you to him. He’s been expecting you since your departure from Dell. What we did not know was whether you had any life in you yet, or if you merely sought a place to hide and die.”

Expecting him? “You had me followed?”

“Until you made land.”

“And yet I was refused entrance.”

Johan waved the comment away. “A misunderstanding. We did not expect you to go straight to the gates. You proved more…zealous than expected. If it helps, my father had the guard who waved you away punished.”

Tom looked about the room, noting the way the guards refused to meet his eyes. “I’m the laughing stock,” he thought. And yet who better to force Werner Stephron to abandon his pride and step up to save the realm? Perhaps he was too old for what he knew needed doing, but if not him, then who? Then he thought of Tarkin and all that had gone before and he knew that he must endure, for all their sakes.

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⁂ Ninja edit - [Shoutout to @arekwolf for some super appreciated and very valuable feedback. Fixes made! Big thanks to @kiligirl, @aussiesteem and @scottish01 for your awesome comments. Without you all I wouldn't have had the guts to keep going with this.]


Thanks for reading. Huge thanks to everyone for reading and encouraging me to post this. You have given me so much more confidence that people might actually want to read what I am writing. Thank you so much for that. As always, all comments and suggestions are welcome and if you'd like to read more of this story, please do let me know and I will charge on with what comes next.

The earlier chapters are here:

Here is what passes for Chapter 1.
This is Chapter 2.
This is Chapter 3.


If you like my work, please consider following me for more. I'm posting smaller (hopefully) humorous vignettes as well as some longer pieces as well as some fantasy chapters. If you enjoyed it, please upvote.

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I am loving this series, it is so well written, the characters are just spot on and there are some intriguing back stories.

I'm not sure if I've alteady said that Raymond E Fiest was one of my favourite fantasy authors and I would say that this story would be on a par with any of his novels, great rip roaring fast paced story that keeps the reader engaged and it is just perfect for publishing on Steemit.

Looking forward to the next 'kinda sorta chapter' :-)

I'm always worried I'll need to make a ninja edit and I not be able to because of the format, but without Steemit I would never have had the courage to post my writing at all. Ray Feist's Magician is still a favorite of mine. Thanks for reading!

This post gets a 6.25 % upvote thanks to @ausbitbank - Hail Eris !

Hail Eris indeed! And thank you

More great stuff - your pacing and style is rather GRRMish - hope you take that as a compliment :-)

Wow! Thanks. That's a super complement that I'm not sure I deserve. :-) I do love me some GRRM though. Especially Dunk and Egg stories. I've been reading Robin Hobb recently. Who are your favorite fantasy auth

I also loved the Dunk and Egg stories! I was a real Dan Simmons fan for a while, until I devoured all his books on Kindle. The best from my perspective were his Hyperion series.

And of course I loved the Dune series and read all those books a few times.

On GRRM: I actually read the whole GoT series three times 🤣😊

Fund is awesome. Totally agree. I read Hyperion too and enjoyed it. I think Dan Simmons wrote a novel called The Terror which was interesting and although I don't remember really enjoying it at the time, it has really stuck with me and I sometimes find myself thinking about parts of it. I enjoy the K J Parker (Tom Holt) novels too. And despite still waiting, I'm looking forward to The Winds of Winter.

Awesome - you also read Hyperion! That makes you officially the third person I've ever met who has, including the high school (or thereabouts) student who sat next to me in Vancouver airport and said, "Hey, Dan Simmons was my teacher!" I checked, and yes, he was teaching high school. Talk about coincidence.

On other DS books: yup, the Terror (the one about the ship getting stuck trying to find the Northwest Passage?) and I think the Mind Vampires or something like that. Also he became somewhat obsessed with Charles Dickens and whether or not some nefarious character influenced his life - don't remember the name of that book (it was the Nefarious One's name - Edwin Drood, I believe). Don't know K J Parker (Tom Holt) so will look for them! And I'm with you on the Winds of Winter. I actually have a Google alert out on them, that's how naive I am he'll ever publish it/them/whatever it turns out to be.

“You’re aware, of course, that Basra Lifcursk has taken charge of Seagate and his father, Black Caldy is on his way there as we speak.”
: Without a punctuation mark after ‘Seagate,’ this sentence may suggest that Basra Lifcursk has taken charge of his own father too.

‘ The man was an ass with a crown in place of a nose ring.’
: Yet another great line that perfectly fits the historical period :-)

‘...Not that I believe a word of it, but if the son did this bloody murder, I say he did us a favor.”’ -->
‘...Not that I believe a word of it, but if the son HAD DONE this bloody murder, I say he did (HE’D DONE) us a favor.”’

This story continuously keeps its solid grip on me.

Great feedback. Good catch on the missing comma and the tense issue. I'll definitely fix. Thanks again for reading through and providing feedback. This is exactly what I need (and I probably should put the chapters up on google docs the way you are so that they don't get locked in where they can't be edited) - or we can share chapters back and forward before we post if you are interested.

Sure, that’d be great. If you want to, post the links in the comments or email them via http://arekwolf.com/contact/

Still reading, still loving this tale. I think you have the pacing working well, and the balance of dialogue and action/description feels right.

I hope you don't mind, i will point out one thing , from the last paragraph:

“I’m the laughing stock,” he thought.

You don't need quotations around thoughts, just speech. Of course you can do whatever you like, it's your wonderful story, but just so you know :)

Now, off to read the next chapter.

Hi @naquoya, I don't mind at all. In fact I really appreciate it. Thank you!

Thanks for letting me know. I will never offer a negative criticism without first offering a positive.

As always spot on @thinknzombie! And you've left me hanging out for the next instalment... Really getting into this story now looking forward to each new revelation as it comes to life. Also great to see fellow Steemitizans making such constructive comments too!

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