First Impressions. - Part 13.

Steph was pretty nervous when she approached what was her own front door. While John had fetched the keys, Taz had returned. Anxious to know the answer to that problematic question. For once in her creative life Steph chose the truth. John had only revealed the answer to her once she'd promised to tell no one else. That didn't prevent Taz from fishing until her kind of dad returned. The only secrets Steph had kept prior to this were her own. The young girl was impressed, also vexed. She wanted the answer as well. Funny, seeing as she'd simply accepted his obsession for years.

Her hands were shaking as she unlocked the door for the first time. Why she couldn't have said. Perhaps she was secretly hoping it would be a sex dungeon. It wasn't of course, the extremely faint disappointment was replaced by surprise. The place looked to be twice the size it had been before. A lot of which was due to the absence of boxes. The flat hadn't been refurbished, it had been rebuilt. The small kitchen window which looked out over the square had been replaced with a picture window. Somehow the kitchen was wider as well. Steph had the original measurements somewhere, not that they meant anything to her. She paced out the floor as Taz and John watched her expectantly. Some of her furniture had been placed in storage he advised. Meaning the loft space Taz amended.

Oh no. If the kitchen and living area were bigger, that would mean her bedroom was smaller. Her bed had pretty much filled the room. She didn't really like single beds. Steph enjoyed spreading out. Things were not as she'd dreaded, when she opened the bedroom door. It looked spectacular. The framework for an extension had been filled. One whole wall was now a sheet of reinforced glass. The view, which had seemed dark and gloomy when she'd first witnessed it through a tiny dirty covered opening, was pretty good for suburbia. A few of the houses they backed onto had trees. There was a view of parkland between two small terraces. This was now a luxury one bed apartment. A realization that disturbed her amazement, sending a cold shiver down her spine.

"I can't afford this." Steph wailed. "I could barely afford the rent when this was a box room."
She whirled round to face him. The architect of this catastrophe which would lead to eviction.
"Um..." Oh he couldn't defend himself, Steph internally raged. "The rent's the same. You have a 12 month lease. I suppose I should have made that clear. My fault. And just in case it's a problem, we haven't charged you for the period you haven't been here. That wouldn't have been fair."
She'd been about to spit flame all over him. Now he'd removed that outlet. Taz was smirking at her. Steph noticed she had a finger raised, probably to send lightning at John.
"Apology accepted." She graciously informed him. "Who unpacked my stuff and arranged the furniture?"
The youngster stuck her hand up.
"There are some personal things in the small storage cupboard in the bedroom."
After being so incandescent with anger, Steph deflated.
"I suppose you'll want me out as soon as possible then. Now I need to find my car and its keys."
"It's in my garage." He confessed sheepishly, holding out the key. "It was illegally parked, so we took care of the tickets. One of your tires was bald and it needed some oil. Soooooo... we took care of that as well. Otherwise we didn't change a thing. You can move whenever you're ready. It's up to you. Taz, Bella and I like having you as a guest."
"You did a course on car maintenance didn't you?" Steph asked tonelessly.
"Guilty."

The car was a clunker. It was all she could afford. The insurance on her BMW had been far too expensive to keep it. It started, after a bit of coughing and spluttering. As she sat there revving the engine she spotted the full tank of petrol. John had lied to her. It had been in the red when she'd driven to Oxley Square. That thought caused her to pause. Why was she continuing to find fault with him? Why, when she couldn't, did she make them up. Invent new ones or extrapolate his innocent actions into malicious ones. What was it about him that forced her to give him a hard time? Not always though. While they were interacting personally she quite liked John. A possibility occurred to her. One she dare not voice. Even glancing at it sent another cold shiver down her spine.

Two days later she moved in. Only to find herself ambushed by a welcoming party. Marcus, Anthony, Karen and Suzie were there waiting for her. Others popped in with small gifts and dishes of food. It seemed these people liked her. They didn't know how despicable she was. How angry she had become when she'd finally understood this truth. All of the hardships she'd endured were well deserved. Self wrought in most cases. Mistakes? Using salt instead of sugar was a mistake. Repeating the same sin endlessly was not a mistake, it was a major character flaw. Which might have been why she had this background level of animosity towards John. He didn't have character flaws. He had foibles and cute quirks. He had a good heart. He was honest and reliable. Things she couldn't dare to aspire to. He was imperfectly perfect. How did someone, as shallow and soulless as she was, compete with that?

Being with him and his family made her feel better about herself. That was not a good thing, she thought. It gave her false hope. Left to her own devices she'd have become the most hated figure of fun in Oxley Square. Doomed to metamorphose into a cat lady. She didn't particularly like them, but they were definitely in her future. Once her new friends discovered how filthy and loathsome she was. That was her secret. One far too many people knew about. John's secret was that he hadn't had sex for a long time. He was being a real trooper. Denying himself the ultimate pleasure out of respect and care for Taz and Bella no doubt. What would happen when she was rumbled? If anyone found out about her dirty secret she'd become a pariah. That was what had happened with her old clique. It would happen here as well.

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Writer, came out of that piece of introspection. At over 2000 words it was long for her blog. Despite writing it as a self critical piece, the readers thought it was funny. It got more likes and shares than any of her previous work. It also helped pick up over ten thousand new subscribers. An online satirical magazine had asked her to come see their editor. She wanted more visuals. Pictures and video clips. Not seeming to understand these were thoughts. You couldn't photograph or video something you'd made up inside your own head. You could have someone draw cartoons of it though. Helen was quite artistic and once you got past her posh exterior, she had a wicked sense of humor. It could be done. It would take a while of course. Steph signed up for a course on publishing on the internet. Taz joined her. John took conversational Italian, it was taught at the same time.

The truth was the article was about the loneliness she felt. Only she'd hidden the truth behind broad strokes and invented characters. Steph missed being awoken in the morning by Bella. She missed her conversations with Taz. If she tried hard enough she missed John, the Dudley Do-Right of the square. It wasn't that they avoided her. It was a case of it not being the same as it had been. Her previous solitary existence, lasting years, had been washed away by pleasant company. That had changed, why couldn't she change her odious self?

Steph had been in her modern flat for just over a week, when Taz came a calling. They talked every day. It wasn't the same. She'd been perusing the contents of her freezer. Trying to decide which prepackaged meal for one she'd sling in the microwave. All of her plans to do more cooking having evaporated when she would only be cooking for herself. What was the point? The doorbell ringing was the most exciting thing to happen to her all day. Opening it to find Taz standing there was even better.

"The Bennett family would like to invite you to dinner. Dress is casual. All you have to bring is yourself."
The invitation hung there tempting and taunting a former member of the metropolitan elite.
"Is there going to be any alcohol?" Steph asked.
"We've got a bottle or two of a lovely Freixenet Italian Rose. It's quite light and pairs well with the grilled chicken Parmesan John made."
"Oh fuck. He did a cookery course didn't he?"
"He's done several. Please mind your language, there are children present. Dinner will be served at seven. If I were you I'd come down now. That way you'll see John in his apron."
Steph wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.
"I'm sorry. I must seem really negative, grumpy and combative right now."
"No more than usual. It's part of your charm. Come on get a move on. Bella misses you, you know. I do to. Even though you're only upstairs. John doesn't want either of us bothering you."
"What the hell? You wouldn't be bothering me. Why would he think that?"
"Do negative, grumpy and combative ring any bells?"
"I have been haven't I. Does John miss me?"
"You'd have to ask him. He hasn't said anything, but he keeps that kind of thing to himself. You know you can come down any time you want don't you?" Taz said as the two of them set off downstairs.
"Yeah I suppose, but I don't want to bother anyone. I figured I'd already outstayed my welcome while I was lodging with you."