Endless Regret

I always write words of self-reinforcement if one day I make a mistake and fail, but it's been a long time ago, two years ago as if I will be very strong facing you, "If failing to greet me, every day, know if I want to give up not that easy "I might be angry if it fails to meet me but it's not that easy as long as I'm alive.Those are the words I have written, even I framed them and stuck them not only on the wall but this heart. I honestly longed to miss the failure to feel the failure, because at that time I felt ready both mentally and physically. but God also will not give such a test for great men who are able to find a reason to rise when they fail.

The god is omniscient, where our weak point then gives the test so that the point does not become weak anymore but the consequence is to accept sincerely for failure, and try to be back again. but sometimes life's expression is not as easy as what we say it is true after now I feel the things I used to miss.

But at this moment the yearning turns into a terrible fear because I do not feel right if I fail at this moment because my physical and mental will not be ready. what I was afraid of was true, I guess my timing had run out and passed but it had just started, although this was not the biggest failure of my life, because I had previously felt a bigger, much bigger failure just different from the contest.

Long before today I feel that failure is something to try, but when I wake it I do not get it, otherwise when I do not want him to come back again, like Gebetan who came to express love in the moment of our marriage perception. not right and notdesirable again.there is a time where we feel lazy to do something let alone to repeat to do other work alone is very heavy.

I think it's a new syndrome that makes the body unexplicable even though it is not paralyzed, eyes do not want to see though they can, hear but not feel. it feels no sense after Failure comes. The motivational phrase about failure no longer has an impact on the body as if it is numb, helpless not wanting to do something that has failed.

Ultimately we are caught in the condition of the body does not want to be ruled by the brain, in the end become lazy to do everything, I just realized at this time how hard it is when it fails, maybe this is also a punishment for this self because it has arrogantly challenged God, or maybe this God makes me change this not as a weakness.

Do not know that sometimes the time to fail is not right, but Failure is not an option, as we choose whether the question is right or wrong, but it is about the art of defending, for those who have a strong defense will rise up and make a lesson for allwhich has been obtained can at least evaluate where our mistakes and fix it in the future.there are no words that can describe failure except those who feel the same way I am today, If before I failed the writing of the success story "Thomas Alfa Edison" which reveals how he made the discovery with thousands of times failed, to be added energy to spurspirit, but after the failure I have gone through.In the end now only an article containing the story of life alone no longer a sense where the body is fiery to reach the goal. Just a writing. dear Failure you have seized everything from me, where else I have to find all the spirit that once existed, my body is helpless, all five senses I do not want anymore work.

I like Zombies who do not know what to do, and want to like what even to remind what ever been done is lazy, now want to give up and try something else leave it all started a new business. but on the other hand I feel to repeat new things require knowledge that may not be for a moment.

As my age grew older, the chance to learn new science again and try to pioneer was a consideration as to whether I could do it all the time. day after day changed I kept in my bedroom, just friends with Gedget containing Games to pass the time.

I want when I wake up for it, then when I see my window my day is dark again, nothing I do, it all turns into a moon and without felt almost a year I do the same without any work. while if I had to rise my time was only two months before next year.

In fact it can not be done anymore because with a time almost a year I still fail let alone prepare everything to start again just two months. dear Failure to be true is not an option, I have to try to accept but you have taken everything away from me, my spirit, my goals, my optimism, disappear when I come.

I never know when you will be away from me, since the failure I feel do not have no mind all feel very lazy to do. oh dusk if you can talk to me maybe this self has missed your presence for days, even months without doing anything.

The desire to repeat the effort did exist, but it was not the same as when I started much of my support, expense, energy, and passion. the work I have built for 4 years ends in just 4 minutes. Butter it you cheat me. Do not you see who is lying there on my bed, waiting every day when I smile back.

My little family who pinned the hope of the future on my shoulders, even my wife once told me, "Hi honey I do not care how you failed, or we can not buy Rice even if only one pack in a day, for me there are things much more important, that continuesI pray to God the loyal moment, About the free smile on your face ".I see my little family sad when I'm sad, but I can not seem to explain what I'm feeling, it all stands above all. But once again I feel unable to get up, it is like what a small family said. even the parents I love also say the same thing.my biological mother, says "Nothing is more meaningful than everything in this world except for a mother is your happiness Son" we are willing to accept all your suffering if we can accept it, only one that we want to see again from you, your smile that has disappeared long agoknow that even if you do not succeed we will continue to support every decision I will go through.

Those words that I often hear from loved ones, they want the smile on my face that ever existed like before, while I also expect the same thing to see their smile still there. I see them grieve because I am sad and I decided to try to get up and start things that have failed.

But I do not know how, how I remember only one, may rise from failure need one reason, now it's enough I do not want them sad because I, for me there is no great failure besides make my loved ones sad. one of those reasons may not completely make me the same again.but at least it becomes "One Reason why I should rise", failure will never go if we do not decide to send it away, Remnants of my time is only two months and the remaining costs and the remnants of energy that has been stolen by the thief namely "Failure" metry to get up.one reason is "My smile is Smile those who love me, my sorrow is also their sadness.

They miss me as always who always cheerfully laugh, and joked when assembled. Our lives belong to those who love us. all this I'm trying to pioneer work for next year whether or not it is clear or at least I did not spend this time in vain, I have to try again. dear Failure if you really feel close to me, and try to take back the remnants of my spirit again know I will remain the same.

I have one reason that can make me smile again, and I do not want to fail again, my failure is sadness, my sadness is their sadness "Dear People" Dear Failure can take me away from my life but never take even onejust smile on the face of the person I care about because if that happens I will not let it happen.
His faithfulness of your souls in this life I will be more mature, and can evaluate what I have to improve that has not been achieved, and which I can not do anymore for the weakness of the business I have ever done. "Failure" is not my true friend but at least you can be a listener for all the weaknesses I have. I want someday when you're gone from me, and stop at somebody else's place.

Then at least you can convey a message to them that there is someone else who has ever felt me ​​"Failure" and he has one reason that can make me that he is not an eternal place I stop, I want you guys who are friends and the spirit I have stolen caninto one more person.I "Failure" may prefer not to have friends than to have many friends lost 50% of his life just because of me. it is the phrase of failure whether it is true in the year depat I can part with you oh failure or engaku happy tiasa with me again I never know.

At least I can prove that I have not lost the energy that I have I will try slowly bangkin as much as possible I do not want to make people loved to feel sorrow for your presence, even so I still doubt if I can or not to go from your shadows oh "Failure". this is an expression of the failure I am feeling now as I have explained there is not a single word that can describe failure except those who are feeling the failure, I will make friends for the struggle and he became my friend when I say DearThe failure of all about my weakness is noticeable while giving the message that it should not happen again.

Thank you friends who have read maybe you out there feel the same with me, you can also do the same thing to find a reason to bangkin and prove that we deserve to not give up. my time is only 2 months away when this article is written then the next two are next year where the competition from my job starts again, whether I can prove everything or maybe even the opposite.

Do not let this writing just as a writing, this is my promise to the person I love that failure is not greater than my love to love them, I Love You Mom and My Dad I Love You My Wife and The Boy. this is my story that is feeling the failure of my work, which even barely has income, while I have children and wife are also being educated all of which require money. Hope you guys are not like me .

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The End...

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