Challenge #02572-G015: Inappropriate Topic
It has been lingering in my mind for a while. Every waking moment it come across my mind. I feel like I’m gonna get my ass beaten if I say it out loud. But why my crew mates look like anthropomorphic animals?!? -- Anon Guest
There are times when it seems like the Universe was made by a lazy creator. The truth might seem stranger than that fiction. Convergent evolution means that beings suitable to a specific gravity and a specific purpose means that they will wind up looking very similar indeed. Caninoids look like dogs, Felinoids resemble cats, the variety amongst avian life forms is astonishing and yet, so very, very similar to known birds. It goes on and on.
Only Humans are rude enough to point this out. "Is it me, or is this entire station like a Furry Convention or something?"
Gortz spent a moment glaring at Human Diz. "As I recall, your -ah- cult of the Furry features cartoonish features including enlarged heads and emphasized eyes. Such is not the case in reality."
"Well. Yes," allowed Human Diz. "But... bird, bird, dinosaur, cat, dinosaur, bird, some kind'a lemur?" The Human pointed them out. "It's like someone copied off of Earth's wildlife and added cogniscent features."
Gotz took a deep breath. "I see I am going to have to walk you through convergent evolution once more. Fact one. Intelligent life that evolves at or near one standard gravity tends to follow the same anthropic model. You acknowledge this, yes?"
Human Diz sighed, "Look, I know I'm new to the Galactic scene and all, but-- Do we have to do this every time?"
"Every time you make that observation, Human Diz."
The Human growled a groan. "Ugh. Fine. Yes-I-understand-that-intelligent-life-in-my-comfortable-gravity-looks-like-me," they intoned.
"Good," Gotz cooed. "You also understand that some life does not descend from apes like yourself."
The Human looked like they were ready to kill something. "Yes-I-know-intelligent-life-does-not-follow-my-own-path."
"Therefore...?" prompted Gortz.
Sigh. "Therefore-the-face-model-I-am-familiar-with-is-not-the-face-model-of-every-intelligent-species."
"Also...?"
"Also-everyone-present-is-wearing-clothes-and-therefore-not-about-to-enter-a-yiff-pile..." another growl. "Can we move on? Please?"
Gortz had a rebuttal prepared. "Can you cease being rude?"
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / showface]
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Send me a prompt [73 remaining prompts!]
Are there any other species that are as obnoxious as humans? 😆
Possibly?
Humans are a disease. There is no species like them in terms of judgmentalism.