Challenge #02373-F183: The Human Paradox

An alien publishes his work on "The human paradox", the fact that the universe is a more safer place since the most deadliest species are everywhere. -- Hyorky

Humans are a paradox, Grax wrote in hir treatise. They are simultaneously the bravest and the most cowardly, the most generous and the most miserly, the most sensible and the most insane. As Deathworlders, they should also be the most hazardous species in the Galactic Alliance, but, as we all know, Alliance space has never been safer since they have been welcomed among us.

Admittedly, there is what the Humans call 'collateral damage', but most such incidents harm the Human involved rather than any friendlies in the vicinity[1]. That is, of course, when they aren't directly harming a confirmed enemy. These pack-bonding mammals are known to cause great devastation in their wakes, yet are also capable of great creativity.

For all their lack of genetic diversity[2], humans manage to embody a vast array of psychological differences. Their personalities have varies instead of their genetic profiles. This, in turn, has lead to the conclusion that Humans are insane. As individuals, they can exhibit some aberrant behaviours if viewed through an egocentric lens. As a group... the species-wide insanity seems increasingly more evident. The fact remains that most of this seeming insanity makes sense to the Humans.

Analysis of such sense is counterproductive. Those who have attempted Human-think often wind up as seemingly crazed as the Humans they study. Yet the illogic of their logic has lead to such scientific breakthroughs as the Gravity Drive, the immunoflu, and the temporal stasis pod. No other species has thought of culinary creations with the wide scope of Humanity's famous foods-on-a-stick.

Many have tried one such treat and thought it the entire gamut of the reputation. That assumption is wrong. Humanity will attempt to put any food on a stick, from crystalized sugar through other forms of sucrose on a stick to fried batters, things fried in batter, to plain chunks of food placed on a stick and cooked like that[3]. They even freeze foods on a stick to serve them cold.

Humanity is also simultaneously paranoid, and overly sure of their safety. This interesting dichotomy allows them to be prepared for the worst of disasters[4] yet able to leave their beds every morning despite the increased likelihood of injury. Humanity has the habit of being ridiculously over-prepared for the most unlikely disasters, yet underprepared for the common ones[5].

Humans are... confusing. Yet they are the most reliable species that the Alliance has ever come across. Small wonder, then, that they are simultaneously the most welcomed and the most feared in the Alliance.

[1] Reference files for your convenience.

[2] Humans have suffered at least one genetic bottleneck disaster during our early evolution (Source) which is why it's a really bad idea to try for 'genetic purity' in Humans.

[3] The author wishes to note that the Terran delicacy 'Beebeekyu Ribs' is not, in fact, food-on-a-stick, but rather animal parts with the bone structure remaining as part of the serving. Consider this an offensensitivity warning for anyone wishing to visit Terra.

[4] Interestingly referred to as 'the zombie apocalypse'.

[5] Excepting, of course, primary parentals, who can be relied upon to have a vast array of small emergency tools like adhesive medical strips, elastic bands, and ductape.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Moofer]

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