Challenge #02052-E228: Wifi Fhtagn
We have found it... The mythical artifact of legendary power, rumored about since the 21st century... And now, after all this time, we have found it! The best wifi in the universe! -- TheDragonsFlame
It was small, and sleek, and had two antennae that made the whole thing look like an ascii-faced robot. Humans would easily see the 'face' and declare it as 'cute' or 'a little bit derpy'. Those not blessed with the capability for pareidolia would only see lights and a line of USB slots.
The entire thing glowed. Even when it was not plugged into a power source. That was how they knew that the thing was from beyond this world. Possibly from beyond this reality. The air had a greasy quality around it and, if it was handled, the person handling it swear it felt as if the object were permitting them to do so.
But in all other things, it was a simple Wifi Modem. It boasted being able to connect to objects within fifty meters, and it did so faithfully. No matter what was between it and the user. Bricks. Other electronics. Re-enforced concrete. A faraday cage. You name it, it broadcast within that range. It even worked with Wifi boosters to extend its range.
It was perfect.
So perfect that they dared not take it apart to find out what made it so. They were too afraid of breaking it.
So they used every non-invasive method they could think of to peek inside the machine without disturbing its inner workings. And learned many things.
Part of it was organic, but they couldn't figure out how it was alive even without power. Nor could they work out what it subsisted on.
Part of it gave off readings that indicated that it spent quantum milliseconds in another dimension. But they could not say which dimension or how it flickered there and back again before any instruments could measure what it did.
Part of it emitted infrasound that made certain peoples very nervous about looking at it. Yet it featured no parts that could make a sound.
And it was, without a doubt, the perfect Wifi Modem.
Such a pity that Wifi was outmoded technology by the time they found it.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / ozaiachin]
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