Challenge #02049-E225: A Tiny Terror in Tulle
"You're my bestest friend ever!"
"Because I supply you with deadly weapons?"
"That's what only the best of friends would do!" -- TheDragonsFlame
[AN: Now I want a Google Search image with "Did you mean 'Bangladesh Dupree'?" in it]
It wasn't easy, working for Princess Hakenslash. She was going to be a fine Warrior Queen one day, presuming she survived to achieve the crown. She was eight, and already a terror in pink tulle and play fairy wings[1]. She wanted nothing more than to beat the snot out of any of the Kingdom's enemies, and the challenge was in making weapons that suited her immature hands.
Alloys forged in Dragon's flame didn't come cheap. Especially bauxite and starmetal. Especially forged using the secrets of Damasc.
Tan the Smith learned to dread the sound of her skipping footsteps, but today? Today, the fates had been kind. Elven artificers and Dwarven smiths and kindly Dragons alike had been working on this since her last birthday. All the same, Tan braced himself as she came, all ribbons, curls, and frilly socks.
She was a vision made of sugar and spice. But only for formal court. "It's my birthday," she singsonged. "What'cha got?"
Tan pulled the cord that opened the curtain with a bow and a, "Happy birthday, your grace."
Princess Hakenslash squealed in delight.
It was a full set of plate mail. Made of the newest, lightest, strongest alloys of bauxite and steel. Charmed by Elven Artificers. Forged by Tan and the best Dwarven smiths in Dragons' flames. Made with room to grow. There was a matching shield and a glimmering sword.
All, of course, painted pink, with embellishments in purple and gold. And glittering rainbows of gemstones.
Because eight-year-old Princesses had a certain, predictable aesthetic.
"It's beautiful," she squealed, leaping into Tan's arms. "You're my bestest friend ever!"
"Because I supply you with deadly weapons?" Tan laughed.
"That's what only the best friends would do," she declared, kissing him on the cheek.
Of course, they had made sure she could wear the armour and her frilliest pink dresses. She was already strapping on her own greaves and sabatons. "This is the bestest birthday," she cheered. "Who're we having a war with?"
The seneschal, so very tired of this, sighed, "I do believe our neighbours on the southern border need some... reminding... of your ladyship's might?"
Princess Hakenslash picked up her sword and shield whilst some attendants buckled her curais for her. She rang the shield rhythmically with her sword. Chanting, "We're gonna cut yer tonkers off!"
All part of a well-rounded Warrior Queen's education.
[1] Ask anyone who runs the mock-combat section of any given Ren Fair about tiny girls in pink, frilly dresses. Source
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Miramiska]
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