Challenge #01993-E169: The Protection Experiment
Considering the terrifying methods our immune system uses to keep us safe, can you please write a story about how aliens first dealt with human diseases (probably something that has a high mutation rate) that jumped the species barrier?
How did they deal with the pandemic (think of what smallpox did in North America) their own immune systems were unprepared for? How did they handle what they found when they researched the crazy human immune system?
Autoimmune disorders?? -- Anon Guest
If there was one thing to be learned from interspecies contact, it was to be wary of alien plagues. Diseases one species deems harmless can ruin another's population. Diseases can jump species barriers and get worse. Diseases can lay waste to entire planets. And a Deathworlder disease has even more potential to do so than any other.
Humans have had their unfair share of such things, even before the Shattering. A strain of influenza crossed between two domesticated species before leaping into humans. The resultant virus did more damage than the mass warfare that helped spread it. When a virus can transmit across multiple intelligent species, it could destroy the universe as we know it. Humans understand this, and almost all encounters between species involve livesuits for a reason.
And then Galactic Society learned about the "kill or cure" tactics of the human immune system.
Human Claire had volunteered, and was now in the biotainment lab where other beings could poke and prod her body at their leisure. So far, they were extracting immunities from her blood and sampling her exterior for deadly or useful pathogens.
One thing Humans taught Galactic Society was: even if it's deadly, it can still be useful.
This was in the early days of what would later be named the Human Incursion, and the vital research had to happen on an isolated dwarf planet in the middle of the Edge Territories. With full security, and regular checks by the Galactic Safety Patrol.
The most dangerous being in the entire base, Human Claire, was down to her Skins and assisting the waldoes attempting to collect her saliva by simply spitting into the vial. "Say 'when'," she chirped.
"Up to the line without bubbles, if you can," said Chief Analyst Gorx. "We've detected some... artificial virus remnants in your system. Do you know if anyone has been attempting to sabotage your species, but the remnants seem to come from multiple hostile virii merged into one."
The unexpected result was laughter. "Oh, that old thing?"
"Your humour evades us," said Medik Tokki.
"Yeah, no. That's -uh- that's a the latest immunoflu. See. We couldn't conquer the common cold, so we tamed it. You take the regular rhinovirus, which is a fortnight long pain in the ass, and you seed it up with every other marker from every other really hostile virus that's the latest bad thing. I mean, sure, you feel like crap for two weeks, but on the other side of it, you're protected from a whole host of hostile bugs."
The assembled species working on the Friendly Deathworlder problem all experienced the vertiginous feeling of having an assumed barbarian explain how they had access to wifi in their yurt. Or cave. Or teepee. Or... insert gather-hunter shelter technology here.
"My pardon," said Chief Analyst Gorx. "Your people have done what?"
"We tamed the common cold," summarised Human Claire. "I'm sure I included a fid in my 'About Us' info packet. Lemme dig it up?" She accessed her entertainment device and, after some twiddling, brought up some audio-visual edutainment media.
"Many people believe erroneously that injected vaccines are harmful to the children who need them..." it began, playing vintage footage of babies getting needles. It proceeded to explain how the 'immunoflu' was engineered on a lies-to-children basis that covered the basics without getting into the gritty details.
"Human Claire," said Chief Analyst Gorx in the patient tones of someone forestalling a personal nervous breakdown. "Why did you not mention this sooner?"
"I shared all my data," said Human Claire with a shrug. "I just thought you went through it all."
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / kentoh]
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