Challenge #01979-E155: The HorrorsteemCreated with Sketch.

in fiction •  8 months ago


We've all done it. Yelled at the screen when the 'new guys' did something to an old favourite. -- Knitnan

"They made a movie out of Sigh of the Wind!"

Kam looked at his nerd sister. "And you want me to go see it with you."

"Well... camouflage. I don't want some neckbeard mansplaining my favourite novel series to me for the entire film." Jen shrugged. Women were always challenged on their knowledge of Sigh of the Wind despite being the target audience. The Mansailors were the loudest and most obnoxious part of the fandom. "I'd rather people assume I was your girlfriend rather than your twin."

"Gross, but understandable. I'm guessing you already got us tickets?"

"You know me entirely too well."

Going to a Gold Class theatre had some advantages: less likelihood of mansplainers, couples seating, and gourmet treats during the show. And one could legitimately put one's feet up without annoying anyone else or needing a wall.

But the trouble started ten minutes in. When Thellisae turned up on screen. Whiter than a sheet and ginger to boot.

"Thellisae is black," Jen whispered. "This is blatant whitewashing."

A few other Truesailors were also whispering, "What the shit?" or words to that effect.

Twenty minutes later, the whispers arose again, "Where's Kerrigold? She's instrumental to the plot?"

And then he turned up. Played by one of the multitude of men named Chris in Hollywood. Someone said, "Oh this is just straightwashing, now."

Jen said, "Amen."

The anger just grew amongst the real fans. The city of crystal had been turned into a brass and bronze steampunk eyesore with a Crash Metal soundtrack instead of the melodious harmonising as was written. And their flying machine was a graceful and artistic thing won in a game that had never existed in the book.

"Come on," chided Kam. "Even I know that's wrong and I never read the books!"

And then the script started messing with the clever and pun-ridden dialogue. Dumbing it down and reducing it to pseudo-topical comedy and seemingly random skits that came out of left field.

The Truesailors in the audience started 'boo'ing. They had, after all, paid for some gourmet treats. They weren't walking out until they'd got their feed. Some were angrily tweeting about the betrayal they were watching. Jen was writing up an angry review, ready to post on her Wordpress account the instant she was done.

Kam had to hold his sister back when they crossed the path of some Mansailors discussing how 'refreshing' it was to encounter a movie without "forced political correctness". He did, however, use his gender to shame them for claiming to love the books.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Mark2121]

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