Challenge #01946-E122: Strangers With Candy
TANSTAAFL, or "Invest in Acme income Management, returns of 50 to 70%" Yeah! Right! -- Anon Guest
[AN: For those who don't have familiarity with ancient acronyms, this one stands for, "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch"]
Lee Arr and Fred DeShanko were at it again. She recognised the pattern, even though their names weren't easily found in the pamphlet.
Step One: Latch on to some fringe science or stuff so far out on the cutting edge that it's still using the whetstone (optional - use both). Step Two: Boil it down to a point of inaccuracy that sounds perfectly logical to the average, under-educated lout on the street with dreams of their ship coming in. Step Three: Offer said under-educated louts a chance to get in on the ground floor with an investment plan similar to those one-topic magazines that up their prices every year for increasingly less of what the user wanted in the first place. Step Four: Declare bankruptcy and skive off to somewhere without an extradition treaty for a year or so before coming up with the next scheme.
There were some familiar names on the pamphlet, with impressive titles that weren't even worth the glossy paper they were printed on. Neither of those names belonged to Messers Arr or DeShanko, but they were the aliases of a few "cousins" in on the scams. Lesser players in the last five rounds, it was their turn to be the faces while the others were behind the scenes.
This one owed more of its ancestry to the South Sea Bubble, what with all the hype surrounding a false crypto-currency called Riptcoin, and the supposedly uncrackable algorithm that made it more secure than any other on the market. But it wasn't ready to launch, just yet. Of course not. It needed investors so the creators could build and run a server farm in a nearby area that was notorious for its crime rates. They would, of course, be investing in the community and reforming the neighbourhoods as part of a benevolent initiative that those who had to live there were the first to fall for.
Actual investigation of their blockchain algorithm revealed that it was a formula for calculating Pi to forty digits, and then left-shifted for the next iteration. The alleged security wasn't. And the future offices of Riptcoin was an empty lot owned by City Parks and Recreation. The only security involved in the entire mess was the atmosphere of secrecy surrounding the movers and shakers of this particular operation.
They were ready, this time. Certain members of the DeShanko crew had specific tastes, and a list of thirty hideouts quickly got narrowed to three. All raided simultaneously. All captured with evidence on the premises. All present and accounted for. Including Lee Arr and DeShanko themselves. Wanted on numerous counts of fraud.
Of course, the under-educated got their money back. Of course they were unhappy about it, and blamed the law enforcement officials for cutting off their dreams. And in a few, short years, when it was all coming out in court, they would be angry that they were fooled so well for so long and so often.
And in a little while, someone so much like the old crew would rise up with similar schemes.
Because there's one born every minute. But on the hour, comes the one with the genius to fleece them.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Dole]
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