Challenge #01900-E076: Enter the Whupass!
[Person 1]: “How did I survive that?! Do I have some kind of plot armour?”
[Person 2]: “Nah, that’s ridiculous.” (Glances towards hidden camera) -- TheDragonsFlame
Sorrin Tael, master of Ohnono-jitsu, smirked at the camera that only he could see.
Falin tried to see what he was looking at, but the invisible camera moved. "What? Who are doing that to?"
"It's part of the secrets of my mystical art," said Sorrin. "Something you must learn from the mystical monks of Mojave."
"We're... in California. The Mojave desert isn't that far away from us and... it's unpopulated? There's a reason why they call it Death Valley?"
"Of course mere mortals can't spot the mystical stronghold, one has to have special gifts in order to perceive the way."
"Wait, wait, wait," said Falin. "Wait. Didn't you start as someone with... no gifts? You had nothing, nobody, and no future, you said. And then the monks found you. Or you found the Mountain of Mystery. You were a little vague, there."
"It is my solemn oath to protect the origin place of my mystical arts," intoned Sorrin. "But you are correct. I did indeed say those words. As it happens, my mother rebelled from the order and struck out on her own. She taught me the arts of Wu Xia to begin with, and that was how I could perceive the Mountain of Mystery. Also, I'm the Foretold One of Ancient Prophecy."
"How convenient," deadpanned Falin.
"I sense your skepticism, friend."
"Really."
"Have faith. I am pre-destined to end all the evils in this land." Sorrin struck a majestic pose. The light went ping as it glinted off his teeth.
"And you're starting with the people who are just victims of the system? Why aren't you going up against the big, multi-billion-dollar mega-globo-corps who cause people to need to steal?"
Sorrin was only temporarily inconvenienced. "The mysteries of prophecy are not mine to comprehend, my friend. I go where I am called. I can do no more than act on impulse when I arrive at my destination. I am a seed on the wind. I must follow my compulsions and take root where I am lead."
And if he had had sharper senses, he would have detected Falin making blah-blah-blah hands as he spoke.
"Okay. Sure. Let's go with that. How is beating up small-time criminals going to save the world?"
"Uuuuuuuhhh," said Sorrin.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / Erstudio]
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