Challenge #01849-E025: Good For What Ails You
[Person 1] "I'm sick !"
[Person 2] "Here, take some herbs."
[Person 1] "I cut myself with a knife !"
[Person 2] "Here, take some herbs."
[Person 1] "I got my arm ripped off !"
[Person 2] "Here, take some herbs." -- Anon Guest
There are people who believe in herbs, and there are people who Believe in herbs. Talia's dotty neighbour Mackqualieghiegh (pronounced, 'mack-ay-lee-ay' and shortened to 'Mac' before the ink dried on the birth certificate) was one of the ones who BELIEVED in herbs. And, weirdly enough, for her, they always worked. And when it was her, they worked with other people.
It was very strange. Talia was a thorough nerd and researched everything before trying any of it on a scientific basis. Even then, it was a methodical plotting of doses and months of time because every human had different tolerances and reactions. Especially Talia. And yet, every single time, Mac's herbal remedies, grown by Mac, brewed by Mac, and applied by Mac actually worked. Like a dream. Like a charm. Like... magic.
Talia, frustrated, asked to see Mac's next herbal remedy brewing session. It was more like cookery, only Mac's work station was outdoors because of the fumes, and in special pots and pans because of some of the herbs in question.
"I remember what you said about cross-contamination," Mac bubbled. Mac always bubbled. She was a bubbly kind of person. "So I immediately went and got a fresh set of pots and pans for the kitchen. I swear, the taste of my dinners improved like literally overnight. And my medicines actually got better, too."
"Say what you like about your granola stuff?" said Talia, "But I am never eating rare chicken."
"Oh, I gave that up. I'm going Keto, now. It's way healthier. Did you know that the stuff they market as 'free range' chicken is only let out into the open for like an hour? You have to research every chicken farm to be sure the meat's even any good."
Talia watched her work. It was pretty mainstream stuff. Wax. Paraffin. Herbs, of course. Preparation was steaming, boiling, steeping, drying, or imbuing - which was slowly cooking the herbs in oil over the passage of hours. Talia had tried to do the same to Mac's instructions. Same herbs. Same ingredients. The same set-up because it was Mac's gear and Talia refused to get her own kit for one experiment. And yet, Talia's batches performed poorly, if at all.
Mac just shrugged it off. "Some people have the knack, I guess. Or the gift. I dunno what it is. It just works."
Which was why Mac was Talia's sure-fire-cure person and Talia was Mac's tech support. Talia lived and was in love with progress and technology. She was science. Mac was... almost magical.
And then came the accident.
It was stupid. Talia got her heel caught in a grating when a taxi-van decided to run a red light whilst not paying complete attention to the road ahead. There was a construction zone and walls and confusion contributing. The courts agreed that it was nobody's fault and Talia's insurance refused to pay for the vital amputation.
Her left foot - shattered and fleshless bones, now - had been cut off to halfway along her shin. Talia was exactly the sort of person to make a mobile out of her broken bones. Mac was exactly the sort of person to apply one of her special poultices to the wound in defiance of modern, medical science.
Modern, medical science was confused and confounded when Talia's leg started growing back. At first, they played it off. Talia's body was healing. Some bone regrowth was to be expected. This amount is unusual, but not expected. We'd like to run a few tests to be certain, but we're sure it's fine. This is an unusual case, would you mind us studying you to see what the fuck is going on down there?
The new foot was the clincher.
Something was messed up with Mac's poultice. Of course, the doctors wanted a sample - make that five samples - make that ten - make that... how many can you make in a day, again? - for analysis. But all they ever found was what Mac put in there. Any attempts at replication failed.
But as Talia's bones formed, grew, and her foot came into shape, they couldn't deny it. Mac was magical. It had to be her. She was the only common factor in all of this. She was the one who made the poultice and applied it to Talia's leg. The new foot wasn't perfect. The pinkie toe never grew back, but Talia didn't mind. She always claimed it was practically vestigial.
And scientists all over the world went out of their minds trying to figure out how the hell Mac even did it.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / BVDC]
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