Challenge #01819-D358: Just Like That

“Ok, there’s a bear, and I have a stick. As such, there is only one course of action.”
Moment of silence
“[Name], no.”
“[Name], yes.” -- TheDragonsBlaze

"I can see a few things wrong with your general plan, Human Finn," said Storkaz, holding their Human at bay. "First, that is not a bear."

"Well, if it walks like a bear, grunts like a bear, and has fur like a bear..." shrugged Human Finn. "Might as well be a bear[1]."

"We're not arguing about its taxonomy, Human Finn. We're arguing the sense of your plan of action. It is not a bear. A stick is not the most reliable weapon. You are about to perform an action that even your own species advises against doing. So. Human Finn, no." Unfortunately, Storkaz could tell by the gleam in their Human's eye that they were already too late.

"Human Finn, yes," they said, and stalked forwards.

The rest of the crew wisely sought areas of relative shelter. Watched in horror as the Human approached and prodded the dozing, bear-like animal with a sharp stick. The creature woke, and focussed its four eyes on Human Finn, who prodded it again.

And then it squeaked like a kitten and ran away.

Human Finn bowed for her Galactic Explorer crew. "Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week. There you go. Access to the deposits you needed to sample."

"How did you know that would work?" boggled Storkaz.

Human Finn fiddled with their stick. "Uhm. I... didn't?"

[1]: Traditionally, species in alien landscapes are named after the colonists' most familiar animals. Otherwise known as the Walks Like A Duck Principle, or WLAD for short.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / cristi180884]

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