Challenge #01794-D333: An Argument Against Paradise
"So... so... from your grand cosmic point of view, my entire life, from the moment I was born till the day I die, is... is just a bit of idle entertainment? My very existence, in the eyes of the gods... is just a... a bad joke?!"
"Well... actually - though I must note that's a terribly selfish and negative way to phrase things; it makes us all look quite callous and nasty, a rather rude thing on your part, you know - when you describe it that way... you're not exactly wrong in saying so." -- Anon Guest
I could only think of all the shitty things that had happened to me in my life. The horrible things people had done to me that could have plausibly had a laugh track along with it. The awful mishaps that would be played with a 'wah-wah-wah' trumpet. "Was I funny?" I asked.
The deity was still waffling, "I mean, there's different kinds of entertainment, you know. Edutainment, for instance. I can learn so much from-- Pardon?"
"Was I funny," it was not a question any more. It was an accusation. If I was going to Hell for challenging my God, I might as well go down fighting all the way. "Were you laughing? Was I your joke? Was I even a good one?"
The awkward deity coughed. "I never considered your life a joke. I considered it a work of wonders."
Now it was my turn. "You're saying what?"
"Look..." the deity brought their hands together, and spread them apart. Just like I had, they showed me the spills and horrible things that had peppered my life. But the parts that glowed and looked wondrous were the parts afterwards. The parts where I broke my heart to keep trying. The effort I put into making something matter, despite whatever others might have thought. "This is you," they said. "This is what I found entertaining. The strength to keep going no matter how many boundaries were in your way. The struggle to make something that matters against every opposition."
"You put the opposition there," I protested.
"Sorry. Not my thing. I just create the people and give them free will. Watching how they use that... that's where the education comes in. Who gives up? Who strives? Who turns bitter and makes their world worse? And who keeps striving despite the odds?" There was a benevolent smile. "And who would spit in the eye of their god, afterwards? That's real bravery. That's..." a sigh. "Worthy."
"That's not what the texts say," I protested.
"You'd be surprised how often the Gods get misquoted," said the deity, opening the gates to paradise. "But if you'd still like to argue, I hold a forum every decade or so for those who still believe that they haven't earned paradise properly."
It was the land of milk and honey. A place of rest and peace. Well. I certainly hadn't had any of that when I was alive. But... "When's the next forum?"
"Three years hence. And don't worry if you're repeating someone else. I indulge every protestation on an individual basis."
Three years of paradise and then a chance to argue with my God. "Sounds like an excellent deal." And I stepped in.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / tobkatrina]
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